Thursday, December 1, 2011
new site
Please come and follow me on my new site http://thebarefootmarket.com/. It is full of design ideas, barefoot market items, a personal view into my home and of course some shared moments of my life as a wife and mother. I hope you guys enjoy the new site! Thanks
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
operation bedtime sneak
I hear it...The sound of little "sneaky feet" slowly approaching my doorway. I was about to speak when something inside me tells me to just let this one go and simply wait and watch. An image soon appears. Dressed in a cowboy hat, pajamas, holster and slippers he slinks over to my side of the bed...dinosaur flashlight and toy shotgun in hand.I now have to pull the sheets up over my mouth so he doesn't see me smiling. The light is pointed directly in my eyes to make sure that they are tightly shut.Yep...she's asleep. Now over to his Dad's side of the bed. The snoring should have been enough evidence to know that he was in the clear but no...Dad to must undergo the "light test". Now feeling safe he begins to set up camp on our couch. Suddenly the shotgun drops. Quickly he shines the light over to our bed to make sure the noise hadn't woken us up. No movement. He continues. After all the blankets, pillows, and stuffed animals are in place the light slowly dims and as it does I am able to detect a look of complete satisfaction in his face. Operation "Bedtime Sneak" completed.
Lord, I thank you for the security and comfort my son feels in my presence. I thank you for the true protection that only you can offer him. Lord I thank you for moments like this where my heart is filled with joy...filled with the joy that only comes by being a parent. Lord remind me to always cherish these things. Prepare me Lord for the moment when my mere presence is no longer enough to ease the worry and fear of my children. Fill them with your strength Lord as you continue to fill me. I love you Lord...amen
Lord, I thank you for the security and comfort my son feels in my presence. I thank you for the true protection that only you can offer him. Lord I thank you for moments like this where my heart is filled with joy...filled with the joy that only comes by being a parent. Lord remind me to always cherish these things. Prepare me Lord for the moment when my mere presence is no longer enough to ease the worry and fear of my children. Fill them with your strength Lord as you continue to fill me. I love you Lord...amen
Sunday, June 5, 2011
to be a woman
To be lost
To be found
To be here
To be there
To be needed
To be alone
To be here
To be there
To be needed
To be alone
To be held
To be freed
To be told
To be heard
To be complicated
To be understood
To be complicated
To be understood
To be emptied
To be filled
To be high
To be low
To be weak
To be strong
To be nurtured
To be liberated
To be yours
To be hers
Friday, May 27, 2011
strong will
There is no way that anyone could have prepared me in the “art” of parenting a strong willed child. It is…I’m sure…a skill not many have mastered...due in part to the reluctance of the “subjects” willingness to be molded any way shape or form. Recently as I was crying out to God to make a change in my child’s heart…to help him to be more obedient to see how his behavior was effecting me…my prayers were suddenly silenced by my son barging into the room shouting at the top of his lungs. Without thinking I immediately scolded him. I mean couldn’t he see I was in meditation with the Lord? It was then that I realized that it was time to start praying for a change in me. I prayed then that God would soften my heart and guide me towards a new way of thinking.
Soon after this occurred I received a phone call from my Mom. Some how, along the conversation we began discussing my son. She then started to tell me about a program she had watched about “strong willed children”. After the phone call ended I immediately went to my computer and started researching. As I read a certain feeling of relief and a new burst of confidence came over me. We could do this! We could make the changes necessary in our family to give us all what we truly wanted and needed in the end…to finally be heard.
I do want to share some of the information that I have gleaned from some of the articles and book suggestions that I came across. These of course have become stepping stones for me...not a paved path. I do not in anyway believe that there is one set form of parenting that the entire world should follow. I am obviously not an expert but just another weary traveler walking down this long and bumpy road of parenthood. I know many of you have already set your coarse and have established what works for you...but I feel like our journey...my families journey...has just begun and who knows what lies ahead for us. What has become important for me is to remain confident in what we are enforcing, and to make sure that we are seeing positive results in the lives of our children...and if any of this does not seem to be falling into place...we will adapt...redirect...and find another way back to the path that God has lovingly laid out for our family.
Parenting Your Strong-Willed Child
Shaping Your Strong-Willed Child
The Journey of a Strong-Willed Child
Characteristics of a Strong-Willed Child
The New Strong-Willed Child
Love and Logic- Act without frustration or anger
- Stop using threats and repeated warnings
- Set a Limit once
- Make statements you can enforce
- Give kids a healthy sense of control
and so I pray...Lord I pray for strength...always I pray for strength. I pray for wisdom...always I pray for wisdom. I pray for grace...always I pray for grace. I pray Lord...and you answer...always you answer. Thank you Lord. Amen
Monday, May 16, 2011
gleaning the fields
As a young mother I have felt it so necessary to glean as much information as I could from other women that are going through or have gone through the season of life that I now find myself in. I have really been encouraged by a blog I have been following for awhile now and wanted to share with a little something I gleaned from it. It discusses the idea of the "Mission of Motherhood" in such an amazing way. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.
Motherhood is a vital calling, envisioned in the heart of God. By God’s grace, it can be a position of influence and a sacrificial place of leadership in our society. It’s SO big . . . However, the tricky part of the call, is that most women don’t realize the possibilities and they don’t seriously train themselves for the job. Most mothers (even Christian moms) get so discouraged in the position (because they’re too concerned about what others think about “wasting” their gifts and intelligence), or they get so bored (because they don’t realize or “tap into” the kingdom-advancing possibilities).
With motherhood comes an anointing and a GRACE for each child and each day. God has this for you, but you have to receive it from Him. By your own efforts and strengths, motherhood can get ugly; but praise God, you’re NOT by yourself. Motherhood is not about making you look good, it’s about glorifying God and making Him look good. It’s not about making kids happy, but about training them to be holy. Your days may seem mundane and unimportant, but motherhood is a high and holy calling.
“If God calls you to be a mother, don’t stoop to be a queen!”
I do have a few thoughts regarding work outside of the home, especially if you have young children. If you’re feeling a longing to go back to work, ask yourself to honestly evaluate your motivating reason. Is it fear? Discontentment? Boredom? Personal esteem? Just needing a break from the kids? Is your desire to work a true need for additional income, or could God give you other ideas to live with less . . . Or to make money from home? In my opinion, a full-time stay-at-home mom can raise the standard of living for the whole family, more than any job. God has called us as mothers to “mother” our children. It’s not a job for a professional . . . Or for your mother-in-law.
I saw a mom with a screaming kid. “If you stop screaming, I’ll give you a candy.” OH MY!!! NO!!!
Nip it in the bud, and please be a consistent mother to your 2yr old. Training little ones is so much easier than trying to undo bad decisions in the teenage years.
With teenagers, be the mom, not the buddy. When they’re in junior high, begin to establish WITH your kids what God’s plans and purposes are for their lives. It’s BIG stuff. Don’t back down. And seek God’s help every day. Look to other families and older teens who are good examples. Seek other family friends who can “echo” your godly counsel. See the big picture, and help discipline and train your child, like a LIFE-COACH, to help them accomplish all that God has for this season. Hold tight when they’re little, then begin to let go as they get older. See the long-term target, and get your kids to see it too!
Also, realize that as your kids get older, HORMONES are your friends, not your enemy. They are created and designed by God to help our children desire to find God’s life partner. Don’t fear the teenage years, but help your kids to bring their feelings and desires under God’s control.
Don’t follow anyone else’s packaged-parenting-plan, and don’t put yourself on a guilt trip if you don’t measure-up to what’s working for other mothers. Yes, be willing to learn and to receive counsel and to get organizational ideas — but seek God’s unique divine guidance for each day. If you’re needing advice with a particular area in your mothering, get help; but if something doesn’t work for your family and your personalities, whether that’s a home schooling curriculum, or a meal plan, or a cleaning schedule, or a devotional plan, or a sit-down corporate regular family Bible study plan, just relax!!!
And let your husbands be the men they are called to be (which might mean not always talking or trying to get your way and wanting to implement all your ideas. You don’t have to be amazing; just walk with God, and be faithful. Just be you (with God’s help), and be the unique family God has created you to be.
Raise your kids for God, and get ready to RELEASE your arrows to God’s destiny!
Q & A’s for Mission-Minded Families: MOTHERHOOD
Tip #1 – Be confident in God’s calling.
“The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world.”Motherhood is a vital calling, envisioned in the heart of God. By God’s grace, it can be a position of influence and a sacrificial place of leadership in our society. It’s SO big . . . However, the tricky part of the call, is that most women don’t realize the possibilities and they don’t seriously train themselves for the job. Most mothers (even Christian moms) get so discouraged in the position (because they’re too concerned about what others think about “wasting” their gifts and intelligence), or they get so bored (because they don’t realize or “tap into” the kingdom-advancing possibilities).
With motherhood comes an anointing and a GRACE for each child and each day. God has this for you, but you have to receive it from Him. By your own efforts and strengths, motherhood can get ugly; but praise God, you’re NOT by yourself. Motherhood is not about making you look good, it’s about glorifying God and making Him look good. It’s not about making kids happy, but about training them to be holy. Your days may seem mundane and unimportant, but motherhood is a high and holy calling.
“If God calls you to be a mother, don’t stoop to be a queen!”
I do have a few thoughts regarding work outside of the home, especially if you have young children. If you’re feeling a longing to go back to work, ask yourself to honestly evaluate your motivating reason. Is it fear? Discontentment? Boredom? Personal esteem? Just needing a break from the kids? Is your desire to work a true need for additional income, or could God give you other ideas to live with less . . . Or to make money from home? In my opinion, a full-time stay-at-home mom can raise the standard of living for the whole family, more than any job. God has called us as mothers to “mother” our children. It’s not a job for a professional . . . Or for your mother-in-law.
Tip #2 – Be consistent.
As a mom, be consistent in discipline. Be the mom. Training kids for God is a big deal and a holy responsibility. We’re training our children to live with the understanding of both the LOVE of GOD and the FEAR of GOD in their lives. The way we parent will give our kids a reflection of who God is. When God says something He means it. When He gives an instruction, it’s important. He’s not fair (in the way we view fairness); but He is just and good. We need to reflect the heart of God as our child’s parent. And as wives, we need to let our husbands be the leaders.I saw a mom with a screaming kid. “If you stop screaming, I’ll give you a candy.” OH MY!!! NO!!!
Nip it in the bud, and please be a consistent mother to your 2yr old. Training little ones is so much easier than trying to undo bad decisions in the teenage years.
With teenagers, be the mom, not the buddy. When they’re in junior high, begin to establish WITH your kids what God’s plans and purposes are for their lives. It’s BIG stuff. Don’t back down. And seek God’s help every day. Look to other families and older teens who are good examples. Seek other family friends who can “echo” your godly counsel. See the big picture, and help discipline and train your child, like a LIFE-COACH, to help them accomplish all that God has for this season. Hold tight when they’re little, then begin to let go as they get older. See the long-term target, and get your kids to see it too!
Tip #3 – Guard the gates of your home.
As a mom, be on-guard at the gates of your home. Your home is GOD’S kingdom headquarters in an enemy territory. You need to guard the eye gate and the ear gate. Guard your thoughts and guard your kid’s thoughts. Take every bad thought — discouragement, lie, fear, worry, temptation, bad attitude — CAPTIVE to the obedience of Christ! Guard against media, movies, evil influences (like demonic cartoons, games or horoscopes, books, or toys), fleshly printed material (women’s magazines, romance books, chick-flicks, bad-influence friends). One thing I’ve found is to stop JUNK on day 1, at the very door of your home. Don’t give evil or slight compromise a foothold (it won’t get easier if you let things “slide” for a while). The family lives to please God, not to please us as parents (or to make us look good), and not to please the kids. Your home is a sanctuary, and a retreat center, and a discipleship training school. Don’t “punish” your kids by grounding them to stay home, or to punished by sending them to their rooms. Don’t you want your kids to LOVE being home with you?Tip #4 – Mother by faith, not by fear
As a mom, be a warrior, not a worrier. Parent in FAITH, not fear!!! Release your kids to God, and to GOD’S purposes. Be passionate about raising kids for God, but don’t take more “government” than God requires. Do your battle in prayer: and wrestle against principalities and powers (identify your enemies, like strife, rebellion, sin, or laziness). Your kids are not your enemy, and neither is your spouse. Take your concerns & spouse disagreements to a higher authority — GOD– and Pray!!!Also, realize that as your kids get older, HORMONES are your friends, not your enemy. They are created and designed by God to help our children desire to find God’s life partner. Don’t fear the teenage years, but help your kids to bring their feelings and desires under God’s control.
Tip #5 – Rely on God’s GRACE!!!
Just live in God’s grace, and abide with Him. See this ABIDING MOM vs. SUPER MOM chart.Don’t follow anyone else’s packaged-parenting-plan, and don’t put yourself on a guilt trip if you don’t measure-up to what’s working for other mothers. Yes, be willing to learn and to receive counsel and to get organizational ideas — but seek God’s unique divine guidance for each day. If you’re needing advice with a particular area in your mothering, get help; but if something doesn’t work for your family and your personalities, whether that’s a home schooling curriculum, or a meal plan, or a cleaning schedule, or a devotional plan, or a sit-down corporate regular family Bible study plan, just relax!!!
And let your husbands be the men they are called to be (which might mean not always talking or trying to get your way and wanting to implement all your ideas. You don’t have to be amazing; just walk with God, and be faithful. Just be you (with God’s help), and be the unique family God has created you to be.
Raise your kids for God, and get ready to RELEASE your arrows to God’s destiny!
Post Author
Monday, May 9, 2011
you are my sunshine...by Jonah Julius
You are my sunshine
Your heart loves mine
It makes me happy
To feel this way
You'll never know dear
How much I just love ya
Please don't take my Mama away....and she's so beautiful and I love her and she is wonderful and I love her because she is my sunshine...and I am her "son-shine" and she loves me so much I can't even believe it....
Your heart loves mine
It makes me happy
To feel this way
You'll never know dear
How much I just love ya
Please don't take my Mama away....and she's so beautiful and I love her and she is wonderful and I love her because she is my sunshine...and I am her "son-shine" and she loves me so much I can't even believe it....
Saturday, May 7, 2011
I am
I am a shoulder to cry on, an ear to listen, a hand to hold. I am a dancer a singer a teacher a comedian. I am a protector, a comforter an enforcer and friend. I am their memory keeper. I hide I seek I lead I follow. I will go as far as my child’s imagination will take me. I do this not because my life is small and without any greater meaning but because my life now means something greater to lives that are still small. I am anything and everything they need me to be. I am…a Mother.
Thursday, April 28, 2011
a mother in the ministry
As a young child my life was often bombarded by expectations and surrounded by opinions. I often felt studied by people I would be introduced to. It seemed that because my Grandfather was the Minister at the Church my family attended and had been for many years this was to be...expected. I was well versed in the importance of "unoffensive" conversation. To protect an-others feelings while leaving myself open and vulnerable to their judgment and criticism.There was a point in my life where I became very bitter and resentful of the life that in my mind had been chosen for me.Only now as an adult have I been truly able to appreciate the value in the lessons I learned from my family and from the "standards" I was meant to uphold. I can see now how God was conditioning my heart for what was to come in my life...a continuation of life in the ministry.
From the beginning I knew of my husbands passion for the Camping Ministry. The reality of it in it's entirety was a bit overwhelming to me at first. I guess I saw myself back into the position I was in as a child. I understood what ministry could do to the families that were involved in it. I understood the kinds of sacrifices that we would be expected to make. I understood that the ministry is about so much more then what people see you doing on a daily basis...and now...I would find myself serving beside my husband in a ministry where the daily responsibilities and duties are even less understood.
Although I love being the "Camp Managers Wife" AKA "Joel's Wife" the title really doesn't come with a clearer job description...however it does seem to come with it's own expectations. These undefined expectations often create a ministry that can be somewhat hard to navigate. I have gotten lost so many times in my life as I tried to find my own way...my own voice...my own role in a ministry I had been brought into. I do want to say that I feel incredibly blessed to be a part of the Camping Ministry and I am so grateful that my husband obediently followed where God wanted to lead him....even with my resistance. I thank God for the peace and contentment that I now feel in my heart knowing that this too is where he wants me to be. I continue to pray for God's guidance as I still am trying to find my way, my limits, and my place in this ministry.
Going back to my own childhood in the ministry I can remember the incredible load my Grandmother happily carried as "The Preacher's Wife". She was involved in...well... I think just about everything. Her day was full of volunteering, visiting, providing meals, providing support, and showing Gods love through her beautiful humble spirit. I will have to admit now that the fact that she was so loved and needed by many did not always bring me the amount of happiness perhaps it should have. I would cringe when I would hear another child call her Grandma....She was mine....and I didn't want to share her with...well...everyone. There were very few moments that I felt that I could truly say I had her all to myself. Perhaps it was my attitude that needed adjusted but the past experience has caused me to look at my own identity in the ministry and my identity outside of it. It has caused me to be more conscious and aware of what I allow into my life knowing that I can only hold so much and it has also caused me to always try to remember what I am not willing to let go of.
As a mother to two young children I feel that my most important ministry now is to love and nurture them the way that God has called me to. I have already witnessed in my life how quickly this ministry to my children can be neglected in sacrifice for another. I will confess that I have allowed this to happen more than I ever should have. I have been trying more and more to watch and to see just how my children are affected by their own little lives in the ministry. I am watching to see how they handle being "A Family on Call". How are they dealing with the sacrifices? Of course being their mother I want to protect and shield them from all that I can but how will I protect them from the judgment they may receive. Will I too teach them the art of unoffensive conversation as a means to avoid confrontation? Should I make them painfully aware of the "expectations" that have been set? I have started to realize just how different things look through the eyes of a parent in the ministry then the eyes of a child....and so I pray...
God, I thank you so much for this opportunity to serve. It has filled my life with so much joy. I thank you for your patience and your guidance. I thank you Lord for the strength of my husband and for his example. I pray Lord that you will continue to let me see where it is you want me to go. I pray Lord for my children. I pray for their protection. I thank you Lord for their resilience. I pray that you will continue to give me the wisdom I need to be a mother in the ministry...amen
From the beginning I knew of my husbands passion for the Camping Ministry. The reality of it in it's entirety was a bit overwhelming to me at first. I guess I saw myself back into the position I was in as a child. I understood what ministry could do to the families that were involved in it. I understood the kinds of sacrifices that we would be expected to make. I understood that the ministry is about so much more then what people see you doing on a daily basis...and now...I would find myself serving beside my husband in a ministry where the daily responsibilities and duties are even less understood.
Although I love being the "Camp Managers Wife" AKA "Joel's Wife" the title really doesn't come with a clearer job description...however it does seem to come with it's own expectations. These undefined expectations often create a ministry that can be somewhat hard to navigate. I have gotten lost so many times in my life as I tried to find my own way...my own voice...my own role in a ministry I had been brought into. I do want to say that I feel incredibly blessed to be a part of the Camping Ministry and I am so grateful that my husband obediently followed where God wanted to lead him....even with my resistance. I thank God for the peace and contentment that I now feel in my heart knowing that this too is where he wants me to be. I continue to pray for God's guidance as I still am trying to find my way, my limits, and my place in this ministry.
Going back to my own childhood in the ministry I can remember the incredible load my Grandmother happily carried as "The Preacher's Wife". She was involved in...well... I think just about everything. Her day was full of volunteering, visiting, providing meals, providing support, and showing Gods love through her beautiful humble spirit. I will have to admit now that the fact that she was so loved and needed by many did not always bring me the amount of happiness perhaps it should have. I would cringe when I would hear another child call her Grandma....She was mine....and I didn't want to share her with...well...everyone. There were very few moments that I felt that I could truly say I had her all to myself. Perhaps it was my attitude that needed adjusted but the past experience has caused me to look at my own identity in the ministry and my identity outside of it. It has caused me to be more conscious and aware of what I allow into my life knowing that I can only hold so much and it has also caused me to always try to remember what I am not willing to let go of.
As a mother to two young children I feel that my most important ministry now is to love and nurture them the way that God has called me to. I have already witnessed in my life how quickly this ministry to my children can be neglected in sacrifice for another. I will confess that I have allowed this to happen more than I ever should have. I have been trying more and more to watch and to see just how my children are affected by their own little lives in the ministry. I am watching to see how they handle being "A Family on Call". How are they dealing with the sacrifices? Of course being their mother I want to protect and shield them from all that I can but how will I protect them from the judgment they may receive. Will I too teach them the art of unoffensive conversation as a means to avoid confrontation? Should I make them painfully aware of the "expectations" that have been set? I have started to realize just how different things look through the eyes of a parent in the ministry then the eyes of a child....and so I pray...
God, I thank you so much for this opportunity to serve. It has filled my life with so much joy. I thank you for your patience and your guidance. I thank you Lord for the strength of my husband and for his example. I pray Lord that you will continue to let me see where it is you want me to go. I pray Lord for my children. I pray for their protection. I thank you Lord for their resilience. I pray that you will continue to give me the wisdom I need to be a mother in the ministry...amen
Monday, April 11, 2011
through their eyes
"Mom come look." "Yes I see Jonah" "No Mom come look with your eyes" "I am looking with my eyes" "No, Mom, you need to come here and look at it in the same way my eyes are looking at it."
It is hard to imagine what the world must look like to my children. Thinking back on my own childhood I can remember how even the smallest of things became big and magical with just a bit of imagination. An old abandoned barn became my "Castle" and an apple tree become my "Neverland Hideaway". As an adult I have found myself restricted by the reality of my day. I forget how important it is for me to take time to enter the worlds my children often create for themselves. So often I neglect to find time to just put aside all the other things I need to be in my day and just play the role they choose for me...whether that is a "Cowgirl from Texas" or the "Queen Mother of a beautiful Princess ". It is amazing to me the "magic" that happens when I just allow them to have all the creative control of whatever game they wish to play.
I truly want "...to go as far as my child's imagination will take me..."...To just let go and see where I will land. To let go of all the burdens of my day and just let their "dreams" carry me away. To remember the freedom that can be found in letting go of your inhibitions. To see the incredible excitement shared by my children as I join in on their adventures. To see...to really see...for even a moment...what the world looks like...through their eyes....
And so I pray...
Lord, Thank you for the moments that I get to look at the world through the eyes of my children. Thank you for their beautiful imaginations. I pray that you will continue to remind me how important it is for me to take time out of my reality and enter into a far less stressful place...one that my children have created to share with me. I love you Lord...Amen
It is hard to imagine what the world must look like to my children. Thinking back on my own childhood I can remember how even the smallest of things became big and magical with just a bit of imagination. An old abandoned barn became my "Castle" and an apple tree become my "Neverland Hideaway". As an adult I have found myself restricted by the reality of my day. I forget how important it is for me to take time to enter the worlds my children often create for themselves. So often I neglect to find time to just put aside all the other things I need to be in my day and just play the role they choose for me...whether that is a "Cowgirl from Texas" or the "Queen Mother of a beautiful Princess ". It is amazing to me the "magic" that happens when I just allow them to have all the creative control of whatever game they wish to play.
I truly want "...to go as far as my child's imagination will take me..."...To just let go and see where I will land. To let go of all the burdens of my day and just let their "dreams" carry me away. To remember the freedom that can be found in letting go of your inhibitions. To see the incredible excitement shared by my children as I join in on their adventures. To see...to really see...for even a moment...what the world looks like...through their eyes....
And so I pray...
Lord, Thank you for the moments that I get to look at the world through the eyes of my children. Thank you for their beautiful imaginations. I pray that you will continue to remind me how important it is for me to take time out of my reality and enter into a far less stressful place...one that my children have created to share with me. I love you Lord...Amen
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
ordinary miracle: charlotte's web
It's not that usual when everything is beautiful
It's just another ordinary miracle today
The sky knows when its time to snow
You don't need to teach a seed to grow
It's just another ordinary miracle today
Life is like a gift they say
Wrapped up for you everyday
Open up and find a way
To give some of your own
Isn't it remarkable?
Like every time a raindrop falls
It's just another ordinary miracle today
Birds in winter have their fling
And always make it home by spring
It's just another ordinary miracle today
When you wake up everyday
Please don't throw your dreams away
Hold them close to your heart
Cause we are all a part
Of the ordinary miracle
Ordinary miracle
Do you want to see a miracle?
Its seems so exceptional
Things just work out after all
It's just another ordinary miracle today
The sun comes up and shines so bright
It disappears again at night
It's just another ordinary miracle today
It's just another ordinary miracle today
It's just another ordinary miracle today
The sky knows when its time to snow
You don't need to teach a seed to grow
It's just another ordinary miracle today
Life is like a gift they say
Wrapped up for you everyday
Open up and find a way
To give some of your own
Isn't it remarkable?
Like every time a raindrop falls
It's just another ordinary miracle today
Birds in winter have their fling
And always make it home by spring
It's just another ordinary miracle today
When you wake up everyday
Please don't throw your dreams away
Hold them close to your heart
Cause we are all a part
Of the ordinary miracle
Ordinary miracle
Do you want to see a miracle?
Its seems so exceptional
Things just work out after all
It's just another ordinary miracle today
The sun comes up and shines so bright
It disappears again at night
It's just another ordinary miracle today
It's just another ordinary miracle today
Sunday, April 3, 2011
worshiping in the sunshine
As I was cleaning up the kitchen I heard my son shouting in the living room. "I love it...I love it...Thank you God for giving me this beautiful sunshine!" As I entered the room I saw him dancing in a stream of sunshine from our large window. I asked him what he was doing. "I'm thanking God for the sunshine that I love so very much. That's what you are suppose to do when you love something...and then God makes it even more beautiful. See... He made it so beautiful just for me...Look...Look."I stood there...still...knowing that God once again was teaching me through the faith and innocence of my child's words. I could not remember the last time that I was so truly grateful that I let God's love and light fill me up and rejoiced in it...even danced in it. When was the last time that I stopped and worshiped in all the goodness he has surrounded me with in my life? It was then that I lifted my hands high with tears pouring out and began to pray...Thank you God for giving me this beautiful child...I love him...I love him...Thank you for making him so beautiful...just for me...Amen.
Saturday, March 26, 2011
an inheritance
When we look at our children it is clear to see the physical inheritance that we have passed on to them. Our eyes our nose our smile. What might not be as easy to see at times is the emotional and behavioral inheritance that is given to our children...with or without the intent to have given it in the first place. It would seem that what may be apparent to most is harder for us to see because in truth it might not be something we want to look at. Of course this does not mean that all our "quirks" and "traits" that we may have unintentionally passed on are unappealing but it seems to be the worst of these that we most often stare blindly at. It is without a doubt difficult to view the reflection of our weaknesses in the eyes and lives of our children. Unfortunately for most, not only is the appearance of this inherited behavior displeasing but the amount of guilt that is often felt when realized is overwhelming. It can even leave you feeling helpless knowing that you must now try and correct in them what you have been unable to do in your own life.
Recently my eyes have been opened to the reflection of one of my own weaknesses in my children's lives. I have come to realize that my lack of censoring has caused a certain exposure to a specific way of thinking. With every day "adult" conversation I am unintentionally "telling" and "showing" my children how they should respond to offense, to anger, to stress, to frustration. They hear everything...my language, my tone of voice...and so when I hear my son speaking emotionally and even aggressively I think to myself...Shame on me...Shame on me for not paying more attention to the example I was setting...but now...to avoid passing on yet another unsightly trait (self persecution) I need to now shake off the shame and begin teaching my children how to overcome our weaknesses...together.
As I have mentioned in posts before I also have my fair share of fears. I have also come to realize that fear also seems to be one of those things we find ourselves gifting without the intention to do so. It is something that is hard to hide from them. The intense need to protect our children often leaves our everyday fears about life exposed. I believe we often allow our children to have what may seem like to others as irrational fears because to us...they seem...well...rational. For some...they are okay with their children being afraid of heights because in reality they would prefer them to be on the ground...where in their minds...it is safe...they are safe. There is a certain amount of control that is felt when we know that our children are to afraid to try what we are petrified of seeing them do. We often use it as a means of setting boundaries but what really we have created is an emotional barrier for them to one day try to get through.
Becoming more aware of the inheritance that I was leaving my children has caused me to look at my behavior in a whole new way. The impact of my "choices" is to great to ignore. I want them to see what was given to them as a gift not a burden. But even with making certain changes in my life I do know that history shows that every child...no matter how great and wonderful their inheritance may have been...can always find something to blame on their parents...and we all know history always repeats itself;) ....And so I pray
Lord, I thank you for all the times you have opened my eyes to my weaknesses. I thank you for your forgiveness. I pray Lord that you will continue to keep my eyes open so I can continue to see the impact that they will make on my children. I love you Lord....Amen
Recently my eyes have been opened to the reflection of one of my own weaknesses in my children's lives. I have come to realize that my lack of censoring has caused a certain exposure to a specific way of thinking. With every day "adult" conversation I am unintentionally "telling" and "showing" my children how they should respond to offense, to anger, to stress, to frustration. They hear everything...my language, my tone of voice...and so when I hear my son speaking emotionally and even aggressively I think to myself...Shame on me...Shame on me for not paying more attention to the example I was setting...but now...to avoid passing on yet another unsightly trait (self persecution) I need to now shake off the shame and begin teaching my children how to overcome our weaknesses...together.
As I have mentioned in posts before I also have my fair share of fears. I have also come to realize that fear also seems to be one of those things we find ourselves gifting without the intention to do so. It is something that is hard to hide from them. The intense need to protect our children often leaves our everyday fears about life exposed. I believe we often allow our children to have what may seem like to others as irrational fears because to us...they seem...well...rational. For some...they are okay with their children being afraid of heights because in reality they would prefer them to be on the ground...where in their minds...it is safe...they are safe. There is a certain amount of control that is felt when we know that our children are to afraid to try what we are petrified of seeing them do. We often use it as a means of setting boundaries but what really we have created is an emotional barrier for them to one day try to get through.
Becoming more aware of the inheritance that I was leaving my children has caused me to look at my behavior in a whole new way. The impact of my "choices" is to great to ignore. I want them to see what was given to them as a gift not a burden. But even with making certain changes in my life I do know that history shows that every child...no matter how great and wonderful their inheritance may have been...can always find something to blame on their parents...and we all know history always repeats itself;) ....And so I pray
Lord, I thank you for all the times you have opened my eyes to my weaknesses. I thank you for your forgiveness. I pray Lord that you will continue to keep my eyes open so I can continue to see the impact that they will make on my children. I love you Lord....Amen
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
a work in progress
I know we have all either heard it being said or have said it ourselves "At least my child isn't that bad." Although I believe in the importance of gaining perspective on the obvious normality of our own child's less then perfect behavior it is also important for us to gain a little more understanding of one another. We are often blinded by a child's worst attribute and are unable to see what truly makes them who they are. It is as though we have begun to look at each others children as finished products...no room for improvement or room for growth. I overheard a Mother one time being asked for parenting advise. She responded by telling them to ask her again when she was "done". This to me was amongst one of the wisest responses that I had ever heard and was so inspiring to me. Who knows what our "tireless" efforts and "unwavering" persistence will bring us. They have yet to become what it is they were meant to be...who we helped to create them to be...And just like every work of art they will be appreciated by many but unfortunately they will also continue to encounter the "critics".
Recently I heard a message that was spoken by a man I have an incredible amount of love and respect for. In his message he spoke of the importance of building relationships with one another. He gave an example of how a parent might be resistant to hear "advice" from someone who had not shown any other interest outside of their apparent disapproval of how their child was being raised. He encouraged them to take the time to reach out and truly get to know those families. In reality you might come to realize that they may not be in need of starting over with an entirely different way of doing things but may need love and encouragement as they they finish out what they already started. And with your investment in time you may also gain a sudden realization that the once "disobedient", "rebellious", and seemingly "out of control" child is more than just that. As meaningful moments are shared you can also see how small and insignificant in comparison their worst moments really were.
As a Mother to a very active strong willed and spirited little boy I indeed get to witness first hand what it feels like to receive those disapproving glances and "helpful" remarks. I can tell you that I am well aware of the trouble my son can find himself in. I live it...everyday. I can also tell you that the last thing an exhausted Mother wants to hear in the midst of trying to correct a behaivor is that there is a "better" way to take care of it. What may be equaling irritating to me is the incredible urge people seem to have to step in and speak over any message that I may have been trying to communicate. It almost feels as though they thought that my parenting needed to be corrected along side of my child's behaivor. I do have to say that their confidence in their own parenting capabilities is somewhat inspirational. I cannot imagine feeling as though I knew enough about the world of parenting that I would be able to diagnose every child's apparent default and feel as though I could fix what their parent was unable to. Reality however would say that in fact the parent....the one that gets to spend each and every moment with their child...the good the bad and ugly...may have a greater understanding of what their child needs...and...what they don't...like a lecture from a stranger;)
I hope that someday we will realize that although we may feel as though our child isn't as bad as another the fact of the matter is that I am sure someone else doesn't think so. It is a cruel reality. We are all looking for ways to make ourselves feel better about the choices we have made. We all seem to be in competition in a loosing game. We all are works in progress...we all have room to grow...and areas to learn in. None of us...no matter how "confident", knowledgeable or experienced... have the capability to raise perfect human beings. So perhaps the next time you see "someone elses" child running away from their parents in rebellion or are throwing themselves down on the ground out of protest you will choose to look beyond the current behavior and begin to see a possibility...an investment in your time....And so I pray...
Lord, I just love you so much. You always look at me with love and it is so comforting to know that no matter my weakness you will be there to give me the strength I need to get through it. Lord I thank you for my children. They are so beautiful and I feel so blessed to get to see the gifts they truly are. Lord I pray that you will allow me the courage to communicate to others when I feel as though their comments have been cruel and unjust. Help me Lord to say it with love and with patience. I pray Lord that you will continue to keep my eyes wide open to the reality that I too can find myself being judgmental. I pray that you will continue to work in my life and help me to overcome any tendencies to do so. Thank you Lord...for all you do...Amen
Recently I heard a message that was spoken by a man I have an incredible amount of love and respect for. In his message he spoke of the importance of building relationships with one another. He gave an example of how a parent might be resistant to hear "advice" from someone who had not shown any other interest outside of their apparent disapproval of how their child was being raised. He encouraged them to take the time to reach out and truly get to know those families. In reality you might come to realize that they may not be in need of starting over with an entirely different way of doing things but may need love and encouragement as they they finish out what they already started. And with your investment in time you may also gain a sudden realization that the once "disobedient", "rebellious", and seemingly "out of control" child is more than just that. As meaningful moments are shared you can also see how small and insignificant in comparison their worst moments really were.
As a Mother to a very active strong willed and spirited little boy I indeed get to witness first hand what it feels like to receive those disapproving glances and "helpful" remarks. I can tell you that I am well aware of the trouble my son can find himself in. I live it...everyday. I can also tell you that the last thing an exhausted Mother wants to hear in the midst of trying to correct a behaivor is that there is a "better" way to take care of it. What may be equaling irritating to me is the incredible urge people seem to have to step in and speak over any message that I may have been trying to communicate. It almost feels as though they thought that my parenting needed to be corrected along side of my child's behaivor. I do have to say that their confidence in their own parenting capabilities is somewhat inspirational. I cannot imagine feeling as though I knew enough about the world of parenting that I would be able to diagnose every child's apparent default and feel as though I could fix what their parent was unable to. Reality however would say that in fact the parent....the one that gets to spend each and every moment with their child...the good the bad and ugly...may have a greater understanding of what their child needs...and...what they don't...like a lecture from a stranger;)
I hope that someday we will realize that although we may feel as though our child isn't as bad as another the fact of the matter is that I am sure someone else doesn't think so. It is a cruel reality. We are all looking for ways to make ourselves feel better about the choices we have made. We all seem to be in competition in a loosing game. We all are works in progress...we all have room to grow...and areas to learn in. None of us...no matter how "confident", knowledgeable or experienced... have the capability to raise perfect human beings. So perhaps the next time you see "someone elses" child running away from their parents in rebellion or are throwing themselves down on the ground out of protest you will choose to look beyond the current behavior and begin to see a possibility...an investment in your time....And so I pray...
Lord, I just love you so much. You always look at me with love and it is so comforting to know that no matter my weakness you will be there to give me the strength I need to get through it. Lord I thank you for my children. They are so beautiful and I feel so blessed to get to see the gifts they truly are. Lord I pray that you will allow me the courage to communicate to others when I feel as though their comments have been cruel and unjust. Help me Lord to say it with love and with patience. I pray Lord that you will continue to keep my eyes wide open to the reality that I too can find myself being judgmental. I pray that you will continue to work in my life and help me to overcome any tendencies to do so. Thank you Lord...for all you do...Amen
Friday, March 11, 2011
melancholy
I must say I have been truly struggling to write lately. I was able to start many posts but found myself unable to complete them. I have allowed my spirits to get low and my creativity to run dry. I wouldn't say there has been a particular reason for it but somehow I have found myself feeling a bit humdrum...a bit...melancholy. My motivation to yank myself out of this funk has been lacking as well. It is not as if I enjoy feeling this way but am struggling to find the energy I need to make a change. I have found myself just simply going through the motions of my day...with out thought...with out much care. Simple interruptions of my day have been unwelcome and have caused a great amount of irritation. 'Can't they see I'm just trying to get through this?' Instead of just simply asking for help I decided to instead enter my daily chores with bitterness and even resentment. I guess you could say...in truth...I have been feeling sorry for myself. It is so frustrating finding myself back to this frame of mind time and time again.
There is a song by a musician that I love that has been popping into my mind as I begrudgingly go about my day. A piece of one of the lines from the song seemed to fit my current mood...and it goes 'We all know someone who’s always hurtin’ The sun is shining...they draw the curtain....' That was me. Somehow at some point I decided to shut out the light and go sit and pout in the dark. Of course looking at it now my behavior seems ridiculous...even childish.
So what do you do when you have realized that you have just wasted a good amount of time on making yourself feel unhappy? I guess since there was no true reason for it in the first place the answer should be simple. Laugh it off and move on. There is another line to the song I had mentioned before that I believe will become my mantra for the next few days...and it says 'I keep on laughing to keep from crying . I keep on dreaming to keep from dying. I keep on trying. Ain’t gonna stop. Get right down to the bottom of the barrel. And then you float back on top' So here's to gettin down and risin up....and so I pray...
Lord, How silly I must look to you at times. Like an unruly child I have shut out your light and sat in my own darkness. Please forgive me Lord for wasting all that precious time on myself. I pray that you will help me to shed this shadow of "depression" and shine my light. I love you so much Lord....Amen
There is a song by a musician that I love that has been popping into my mind as I begrudgingly go about my day. A piece of one of the lines from the song seemed to fit my current mood...and it goes 'We all know someone who’s always hurtin’ The sun is shining...they draw the curtain....' That was me. Somehow at some point I decided to shut out the light and go sit and pout in the dark. Of course looking at it now my behavior seems ridiculous...even childish.
So what do you do when you have realized that you have just wasted a good amount of time on making yourself feel unhappy? I guess since there was no true reason for it in the first place the answer should be simple. Laugh it off and move on. There is another line to the song I had mentioned before that I believe will become my mantra for the next few days...and it says 'I keep on laughing to keep from crying . I keep on dreaming to keep from dying. I keep on trying. Ain’t gonna stop. Get right down to the bottom of the barrel. And then you float back on top' So here's to gettin down and risin up....and so I pray...
Lord, How silly I must look to you at times. Like an unruly child I have shut out your light and sat in my own darkness. Please forgive me Lord for wasting all that precious time on myself. I pray that you will help me to shed this shadow of "depression" and shine my light. I love you so much Lord....Amen
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Happy Birthday Dr. Seuss
"You'll get mixed up, of course, as you already know. You'll get mixed up with many strange birds as you go. So be sure when you step. Step with care and great tact and remember that Life's a Great Balancing Act. Just never forget to be dexterous and deft. And never mix up your right foot with your left."
— Dr. Seuss (Oh, the Places You'll Go!)
— Dr. Seuss (Oh, the Places You'll Go!)
Thursday, February 17, 2011
airing my dirty laundy
"Airing your dirty laundry" As I pondered the true meaning of this I began to get a visual of what exactly it would look like to have all your stained and soiled clothes hanging up on a line for all to see. It would be shameful for any "dignified" housewife to do such a thing. When company comes we hide away the mess that life brings, making sure that all who enter know that our "mess" has been cleaned and washed away. We pray that they will not wonder in the back room or open any hall closets...because we know what may be hiding behind those tightly closed doors.
There is a certain similarity in the shame we feel over our literal "dirty laundry" and the"dirty laundry" that was actually being referenced. Somewhere along the line...so to speak...we find ourselves just as desperate to hide all our dirty little secrets as we do all the other "unappealing" and "unacceptable" things in our life. The problem with secrets for me is the lack of accountability that they bring. Secrets often give us the excuse we need to continue to pile it all away...hidden amongst years of guilt and unresolved emotions. I guess we assume that out of sight is out of mind....but really...the mess we've made never truly does leave our mind. The ever expanding mess eventually bursts out of it's secret hiding place...often at unexpected and inconvenient moments. Surrounded by it all at once makes it just that much harder to pick it all up and yes if discovered by others even harder to hide it all away again. We are forced then to deal with all the garbage that has dropped in our laps whether we are ready to or not.
Hoarding has been defined as the excessive collection of items, along with the inability to discard them. What they acquire would appear to the outside world as unneeded or seemingly useless. Their disease often isolates them from outsiders who do not understand their compulsive need to be surrounded by items that bring them a strange since of comfort but ultimately in the end bring them shame. In comparing again the commonality between the physical and physiological we again can see a disturbing likeness in the two. We can start to see how we also can become hoarders of our secrets...hanging onto each one with an apparent inability to discard them. We are filled with shame but are to proud to ask for help...to let it all go. Our secrets often make us feel isolated, feeling that no one else could be experiencing what we are. It is the walls we put up to protect ourselves that has caused this "house of lies" to be built.We have created the appearance of an ideal life that has never been lived. By sugar coating and understating what trial and tribulations we have is doing such great injustice to those who follow down a similar path. We give them a false hope and unrealistic expectation of what is to come.
In my life I have appreciated the true and brutal honesty that I have received especially when it comes to parenting. Hearing what others had experienced gave me the opportunity to equip myself with some of the tools I would need to deal with those every day messes. Knowing that it wasn't going to come easy and also knowing that all the great and wonderful moments that happen in between would give me the strength to get through all the rest. I guess knowledge truly is power. Knowledge alone however does not supply me with all that I need to survive...it's not enough. The power of prayer has drug me out of some pretty dark and dingy moments in my life. God has blessed me by surrounding me with open and honest individuals. It was them that kept me from feeling isolated from all those "I got it all together" Moms. Out of my appreciation of all that they had shared I decided that I too would not be afraid to tell the truth. To let others know that I have failed and will continue to fail just as they will. To continue to "air my dirty laundry" if it means someone else will be helped in the process. After all..to "air" is only human...or maybe that's "error"...either way...I know I will continue to do it;)
Before "hanging this up to dry"...(yes I know...to much)...I did want to share the amazing healing I have experienced since beginning this blog. I have never felt lighter. God has truly taken what I once saw as an ugly mess and turned it into something beautiful. He has used my "secrets" in such a way that I never thought possible. Every week I am held accountable to the testimony and commitments I have made. It has caused me to really look at myself...to look at and see what I had been trying to hide from. There it is...in black and white...I am now an open book...well with a few important closed chapters;) I also want to share that I do not write to claim to have all the answers or in hopes that my self-proclaimed faults would be contradicted. I do not write for approval but write to gain understanding for myself and for others. Truth...and all that it holds...has begun to set me free...and so I pray
Lord I thank you for allowing me to come to understand the freedom that can be found in letting go of what I once kept hidden away. One by one Lord I am starting to bring my secrets out of the dark and dealing with each and everyone. Lord I pray for your continued strength as it is not easy to look at all of it each and every day. I thank you Lord for your forgiveness. What an amazing power to forgive and forget. Lord I know that it will be my memory of my sins and struggles that will cause me to be able to recognize it in those who may struggle with it too. Lord please help me to be a light...to be a witness...to be a friend. Lord I know that I can only do these things through you...with your guidance. I love you Lord...amen
There is a certain similarity in the shame we feel over our literal "dirty laundry" and the"dirty laundry" that was actually being referenced. Somewhere along the line...so to speak...we find ourselves just as desperate to hide all our dirty little secrets as we do all the other "unappealing" and "unacceptable" things in our life. The problem with secrets for me is the lack of accountability that they bring. Secrets often give us the excuse we need to continue to pile it all away...hidden amongst years of guilt and unresolved emotions. I guess we assume that out of sight is out of mind....but really...the mess we've made never truly does leave our mind. The ever expanding mess eventually bursts out of it's secret hiding place...often at unexpected and inconvenient moments. Surrounded by it all at once makes it just that much harder to pick it all up and yes if discovered by others even harder to hide it all away again. We are forced then to deal with all the garbage that has dropped in our laps whether we are ready to or not.
Hoarding has been defined as the excessive collection of items, along with the inability to discard them. What they acquire would appear to the outside world as unneeded or seemingly useless. Their disease often isolates them from outsiders who do not understand their compulsive need to be surrounded by items that bring them a strange since of comfort but ultimately in the end bring them shame. In comparing again the commonality between the physical and physiological we again can see a disturbing likeness in the two. We can start to see how we also can become hoarders of our secrets...hanging onto each one with an apparent inability to discard them. We are filled with shame but are to proud to ask for help...to let it all go. Our secrets often make us feel isolated, feeling that no one else could be experiencing what we are. It is the walls we put up to protect ourselves that has caused this "house of lies" to be built.We have created the appearance of an ideal life that has never been lived. By sugar coating and understating what trial and tribulations we have is doing such great injustice to those who follow down a similar path. We give them a false hope and unrealistic expectation of what is to come.
In my life I have appreciated the true and brutal honesty that I have received especially when it comes to parenting. Hearing what others had experienced gave me the opportunity to equip myself with some of the tools I would need to deal with those every day messes. Knowing that it wasn't going to come easy and also knowing that all the great and wonderful moments that happen in between would give me the strength to get through all the rest. I guess knowledge truly is power. Knowledge alone however does not supply me with all that I need to survive...it's not enough. The power of prayer has drug me out of some pretty dark and dingy moments in my life. God has blessed me by surrounding me with open and honest individuals. It was them that kept me from feeling isolated from all those "I got it all together" Moms. Out of my appreciation of all that they had shared I decided that I too would not be afraid to tell the truth. To let others know that I have failed and will continue to fail just as they will. To continue to "air my dirty laundry" if it means someone else will be helped in the process. After all..to "air" is only human...or maybe that's "error"...either way...I know I will continue to do it;)
Before "hanging this up to dry"...(yes I know...to much)...I did want to share the amazing healing I have experienced since beginning this blog. I have never felt lighter. God has truly taken what I once saw as an ugly mess and turned it into something beautiful. He has used my "secrets" in such a way that I never thought possible. Every week I am held accountable to the testimony and commitments I have made. It has caused me to really look at myself...to look at and see what I had been trying to hide from. There it is...in black and white...I am now an open book...well with a few important closed chapters;) I also want to share that I do not write to claim to have all the answers or in hopes that my self-proclaimed faults would be contradicted. I do not write for approval but write to gain understanding for myself and for others. Truth...and all that it holds...has begun to set me free...and so I pray
Lord I thank you for allowing me to come to understand the freedom that can be found in letting go of what I once kept hidden away. One by one Lord I am starting to bring my secrets out of the dark and dealing with each and everyone. Lord I pray for your continued strength as it is not easy to look at all of it each and every day. I thank you Lord for your forgiveness. What an amazing power to forgive and forget. Lord I know that it will be my memory of my sins and struggles that will cause me to be able to recognize it in those who may struggle with it too. Lord please help me to be a light...to be a witness...to be a friend. Lord I know that I can only do these things through you...with your guidance. I love you Lord...amen
Monday, February 14, 2011
To My Valentines
Annah...I love the way you greet each morning with your beautiful smile. I love your sweet spirit. I love the way you sing each song as if you know each word. I love to hear your little giggle and see your little dances. I love your courage and your spunk. I love to kiss your cute little cheeks and even your tiny toes. I love your cuddles and I love your hugs. I love you...my sweet baby girl...I love you to the moon..and yes then right back to you.
Jonah...I love your adventuress spirit. I love that you are always looking for answers to all your many...many questions. I love your sensitivity and your kindness. I love those beautiful blue eyes that you got all on your own. I love your enthusiasm for life and all that it brings. I love your strength and your confidence. I love just how much you remind me of your Daddy. I love you...my sweet baby boy...I love you...whole bunches and bunches...and then a little bit more.
Joel...I love how safe you make me feel. I love your loyalty. I love your incredibly contagious laugh. I love your unwavering faith. I love the way you love our children and the way you love me too. I love our history and I love our future. I love to hear you sing and I love to see you smile. I even love how much you dislike "cheesy" holidays like today...and how you still take time to celebrate it because you know it means something to me. I love you...my love...I love you
Jonah...I love your adventuress spirit. I love that you are always looking for answers to all your many...many questions. I love your sensitivity and your kindness. I love those beautiful blue eyes that you got all on your own. I love your enthusiasm for life and all that it brings. I love your strength and your confidence. I love just how much you remind me of your Daddy. I love you...my sweet baby boy...I love you...whole bunches and bunches...and then a little bit more.
Joel...I love how safe you make me feel. I love your loyalty. I love your incredibly contagious laugh. I love your unwavering faith. I love the way you love our children and the way you love me too. I love our history and I love our future. I love to hear you sing and I love to see you smile. I even love how much you dislike "cheesy" holidays like today...and how you still take time to celebrate it because you know it means something to me. I love you...my love...I love you
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
speak softly
speak softly
be kind
love them
forgive them
speak softly
they hear you
no need to shout
show them control
think before you speak
speak softly
lower your voice
choose your words
restrain yourself
speak softly
teach them
quietly
tenderly
compassionately
speak softly
practice patience
don't forget
take a breath
make your point
speak softly
ask yourself why
ask for forgivness
ask again and again
let it go
speak softly
be kind
love them
forgive them
speak softly
they hear you
no need to shout
show them control
think before you speak
speak softly
lower your voice
choose your words
restrain yourself
speak softly
teach them
quietly
tenderly
compassionately
speak softly
practice patience
don't forget
take a breath
make your point
speak softly
ask yourself why
ask for forgivness
ask again and again
let it go
speak softly
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
home making
Home Making I have always loved the term home maker because that...in fact...is exactly what you are doing...making your house a home. If you stay at home or venture out...all of us still remain...our families "home makers". I have been thinking a lot about the things that I have made most important in my home. All of us have our own gifts and talent that we are able to infuse our homes with. There is no "Home Maker Mold" that we need to squeeze our self into. Each of us brings something different to the table...so to speak;) It's important to use our own strengths and remember how important it is to use those for the sake of our families. For me one of those things is my creativity. Whether it be creative ways to save time and money or creative projects and games for my children...creativity is king for me. As you may know for many "creative thinkers" organization and strict scheduling is not a strong point. I am one of the many. My "free thinking" attitude has occasionally brought a bit of craziness into our home. I decided it was time to take the negative and turn it into positives...without loosing what makes me...me in the process. Here are just a few areas that I plan on getting a little more "creative" with.
Frugal Living I believe the economy has hit everyone in one way or another. We have been so blessed to be in a situation where we feel very loved and taken care of. My husband as many of you I'm sure know is an incredible worker and has been an amazing provider for our family. Recently I decided that it was time for me to work just as hard to find ways to make what is brought home stretch a little further. While looking over and dissecting my monthly spending I discovered so many places that I had just been...well...wasteful. Just in the simple disorganization of our monthly bills and office paperwork money was lost amongst all the hidden fees or even the occasional late payment. I could not believe that I had let it get to that point. Just in this last month I have been able to save over a hundred dollars by making a few phone calls and canceling unwanted services and changing policies. It was however a little bitter sweet due to the fact that I had waited so long to make those simple changes. Along with the organization of our finances I have also been trying to organize our family meals. I have yet to set this new plan in motion but am confident that it will also make a difference in our monthly spending. In planning our meals I am able to plan for the amount of groceries that we will need for that week. I have also realized that I have been overlooking the almighty coupon which is something I plan to remedy soon. Along with all the ways to save I have also discovered ways to bring a little cash in without sacrificing my life at home. Consignment stores have not only helped organize and de-clutter my home but have been a place to earn a little cash back on all those unused and unwanted items. I was amazed by the amount I was able to earn by just simply dropping it all off. As I'm sure you have read I am also taking my "junking" habit and turning it into a little cash as well. These challenging times have left everyone trying to find some creative ways to stretch a little a long way. I hope that all that I have learned will stay with me when Lord willing the challenge is no longer there.
Organized, Clean, and De-Cluttered Home Although the progress of simplifying my home as not gone as quickly as I would like I am beginning to see a light at the end of the tunnel. With each new step towards a clean, organized and de-cluttered home I feel the burden is getting lighter. I do realize that in order for my home to stay this way I will have to arm myself with tools and techniques. I have found that it is not easy for me to stick to daily schedules and so I am trying to come up with a more flexible way to stay on track. I once read of a woman that would schedule all deep cleaning for one day and would try to do it in a certain time frame. Think "Hotel House Keeping". Although intense I believe this may be the solution to my scheduling disasters. Of course through out the week I would have a few daily chores and quick clean ups but the bulk would have been done. We will see how it works...I'll keep you posted;) Another factor in keeping a clean and organized home would be having a place for everything and putting everything in its place. Sounds simple but for some reason it's not. Creating spaces for those things takes time and a lot of thought....Deciding what to make room for and what to get rid of. I have discovered that containers are my friends. Having a visual of just how many I have of something is wonderful. I don't even realize how much I have collected until it's all in one spot. Another realization for me has been that some clean up projects require a day without the kids. I have found myself so frustrated when what I spent hours trying to sort has been mixed up and moved around. So I have learned that I need to make time...set a date...get it done! I have also learned that I need to lower my expectations of what I can get done in a day. I need to embrace the "one drawer at a time" method...especially if I have those not so helpful helpers at home;)
Family Time With the "Camping Season" only a few short months away this means one thing for my family...a lot less family time. Unfortunately it is the nature of the ministry. We have yet to master a balance in our schedules. I am sure my husband feels pulled in a million directions. Everyone is looking for his time and attention. I hope by using a little creativity and a bit of effort...I will be able to schedule in some much needed family time. We hope to take a little time this summer camping with friends which will be such an amazing retreat for all of us. Along with time with Daddy I am really wanting to try to make more time for one on one with my children. It is that I have not spent enough time doing. I forget how much it means to them. I also want to spend a lot more time allowing my children to pick our activities for the day. I'm sure I have good idea of what they might choose but I love getting to see their excitement when they get to be the "Child in Charge" for the day. Of course I cannot forget in all of this the...importance of one on one with my husband. This proves to be the hardest things to schedule in at this time of year. By the end of the season I am so ready to have him back;) I do hope that this year we can both make time together a priority...even if it means having to be incredibly creative with our date nights...Dinner for two surrounded by a hundred campers...maybe;)
And so...whatever kind of "home maker" you are I hope you will join me in embracing just who that is. To remember how valuable your skills and strengths are to the daily lives of your families. Your home is what you make it...make it to the best of your ability....and so I pray...
Lord I thank you for my family and for my home. I pray that I will be able to infuse it with all that I am. I pray for my children to see through my example that you gave us our gifts to be used for your glory and in your name. I pray that I will not waste what you have given me. Lord I am so grateful for my husband. I am grateful for the way he provides for our family...with his love support, and yes in our finances. Lord you have designed us in such a special and unique way. You have given us each a responsibility to our family and for our home. I pray that you would let me see where I can continue to provide for my family...with the gifts you have given me. I love you Lord...amen
Frugal Living I believe the economy has hit everyone in one way or another. We have been so blessed to be in a situation where we feel very loved and taken care of. My husband as many of you I'm sure know is an incredible worker and has been an amazing provider for our family. Recently I decided that it was time for me to work just as hard to find ways to make what is brought home stretch a little further. While looking over and dissecting my monthly spending I discovered so many places that I had just been...well...wasteful. Just in the simple disorganization of our monthly bills and office paperwork money was lost amongst all the hidden fees or even the occasional late payment. I could not believe that I had let it get to that point. Just in this last month I have been able to save over a hundred dollars by making a few phone calls and canceling unwanted services and changing policies. It was however a little bitter sweet due to the fact that I had waited so long to make those simple changes. Along with the organization of our finances I have also been trying to organize our family meals. I have yet to set this new plan in motion but am confident that it will also make a difference in our monthly spending. In planning our meals I am able to plan for the amount of groceries that we will need for that week. I have also realized that I have been overlooking the almighty coupon which is something I plan to remedy soon. Along with all the ways to save I have also discovered ways to bring a little cash in without sacrificing my life at home. Consignment stores have not only helped organize and de-clutter my home but have been a place to earn a little cash back on all those unused and unwanted items. I was amazed by the amount I was able to earn by just simply dropping it all off. As I'm sure you have read I am also taking my "junking" habit and turning it into a little cash as well. These challenging times have left everyone trying to find some creative ways to stretch a little a long way. I hope that all that I have learned will stay with me when Lord willing the challenge is no longer there.
Organized, Clean, and De-Cluttered Home Although the progress of simplifying my home as not gone as quickly as I would like I am beginning to see a light at the end of the tunnel. With each new step towards a clean, organized and de-cluttered home I feel the burden is getting lighter. I do realize that in order for my home to stay this way I will have to arm myself with tools and techniques. I have found that it is not easy for me to stick to daily schedules and so I am trying to come up with a more flexible way to stay on track. I once read of a woman that would schedule all deep cleaning for one day and would try to do it in a certain time frame. Think "Hotel House Keeping". Although intense I believe this may be the solution to my scheduling disasters. Of course through out the week I would have a few daily chores and quick clean ups but the bulk would have been done. We will see how it works...I'll keep you posted;) Another factor in keeping a clean and organized home would be having a place for everything and putting everything in its place. Sounds simple but for some reason it's not. Creating spaces for those things takes time and a lot of thought....Deciding what to make room for and what to get rid of. I have discovered that containers are my friends. Having a visual of just how many I have of something is wonderful. I don't even realize how much I have collected until it's all in one spot. Another realization for me has been that some clean up projects require a day without the kids. I have found myself so frustrated when what I spent hours trying to sort has been mixed up and moved around. So I have learned that I need to make time...set a date...get it done! I have also learned that I need to lower my expectations of what I can get done in a day. I need to embrace the "one drawer at a time" method...especially if I have those not so helpful helpers at home;)
Family Time With the "Camping Season" only a few short months away this means one thing for my family...a lot less family time. Unfortunately it is the nature of the ministry. We have yet to master a balance in our schedules. I am sure my husband feels pulled in a million directions. Everyone is looking for his time and attention. I hope by using a little creativity and a bit of effort...I will be able to schedule in some much needed family time. We hope to take a little time this summer camping with friends which will be such an amazing retreat for all of us. Along with time with Daddy I am really wanting to try to make more time for one on one with my children. It is that I have not spent enough time doing. I forget how much it means to them. I also want to spend a lot more time allowing my children to pick our activities for the day. I'm sure I have good idea of what they might choose but I love getting to see their excitement when they get to be the "Child in Charge" for the day. Of course I cannot forget in all of this the...importance of one on one with my husband. This proves to be the hardest things to schedule in at this time of year. By the end of the season I am so ready to have him back;) I do hope that this year we can both make time together a priority...even if it means having to be incredibly creative with our date nights...Dinner for two surrounded by a hundred campers...maybe;)
And so...whatever kind of "home maker" you are I hope you will join me in embracing just who that is. To remember how valuable your skills and strengths are to the daily lives of your families. Your home is what you make it...make it to the best of your ability....and so I pray...
Lord I thank you for my family and for my home. I pray that I will be able to infuse it with all that I am. I pray for my children to see through my example that you gave us our gifts to be used for your glory and in your name. I pray that I will not waste what you have given me. Lord I am so grateful for my husband. I am grateful for the way he provides for our family...with his love support, and yes in our finances. Lord you have designed us in such a special and unique way. You have given us each a responsibility to our family and for our home. I pray that you would let me see where I can continue to provide for my family...with the gifts you have given me. I love you Lord...amen
Friday, February 4, 2011
let a little sunshine in
Although I love so many things about the winter months the closer I get to spring the more I realize how much I long for the warmth and life that only it can bring. I have learned to enjoy and take away something from every season but this may be one of my favorite times to get out and look around at nature. I am a firm believer in the necessity of getting out and enjoying the fresh air. Exploring nature and all that it has to offer. Even in the cold we bundle up and go on a few short walks but nothing beats those first few moments of spring when you get to see nature waking up from it's long winter nap.
We are so very blessed to live in the environment that we do. Getting outside to explore nature is just a matter of opening up our front door. We live along a beautiful river and are surrounded by so many gorgeous old growth trees . The forest behind our home is filled with many varieties of plants, bugs and of course some very cute "woodland creatures". I can not think of a more incredible place to live then where we are at this very moment. What better place to "grow" a family then right in the middle of where "growing" comes naturally;)
At this present moment in time both my children enjoy getting outside to explore. Annah is not quite as thrilled about the getting dirty part but still loves to take in the scenery. Jonah on the other had is all about discovery and if it means digging through the dirt or climbing a tree to find it...he's there. I love getting to be a witness of all that he has learned.
I realize that not everyone gets the opportunity to live on a campground and it is often more difficult to find great outdoor spaces to take your families but the importance of getting your family out to explore is still there. Research has shown that getting a little fresh air is indeed important for those little growing bodies...I guess Mom was right. Overtime there has become a disconnect between children and nature. I have come across article after article stating all the benefits to getting kids back outside. One organization and website in particular that I have found has lots of useful information on the subject. The organization is called the Children and Nature Network. The have several links and additional sites you can click on to get all the information you could ask for. They even list different ideas and activities to try to get your family out and ready to explore..."No Child Left Inside"
As I'm sure you guessed this subject is something that I am indeed very passionate about. I am a product of a home that stressed the importance of playing, gardening, exploring, and what ever else you could find to do while outside. I learned so many lessons that I never would have had the opportunity to learn if I had just stayed inside. I believe that the most important lesson for me was to learn to love nature and all that it has to offer....it is a lesson I hope to continue to teach my children...and so I pray
Lord, What an incredible world you have created for us to explore. I thank you Lord for providing such an amazing opportunity for my family to get to explore just a small piece of what you have created. I pray that you would help me not take this opportunity and blessing for-granted. I pray that you will also remind me of the importance of taking care of what you have given to us to enjoy. We love you Lord...Amen
We are so very blessed to live in the environment that we do. Getting outside to explore nature is just a matter of opening up our front door. We live along a beautiful river and are surrounded by so many gorgeous old growth trees . The forest behind our home is filled with many varieties of plants, bugs and of course some very cute "woodland creatures". I can not think of a more incredible place to live then where we are at this very moment. What better place to "grow" a family then right in the middle of where "growing" comes naturally;)
At this present moment in time both my children enjoy getting outside to explore. Annah is not quite as thrilled about the getting dirty part but still loves to take in the scenery. Jonah on the other had is all about discovery and if it means digging through the dirt or climbing a tree to find it...he's there. I love getting to be a witness of all that he has learned.
I realize that not everyone gets the opportunity to live on a campground and it is often more difficult to find great outdoor spaces to take your families but the importance of getting your family out to explore is still there. Research has shown that getting a little fresh air is indeed important for those little growing bodies...I guess Mom was right. Overtime there has become a disconnect between children and nature. I have come across article after article stating all the benefits to getting kids back outside. One organization and website in particular that I have found has lots of useful information on the subject. The organization is called the Children and Nature Network. The have several links and additional sites you can click on to get all the information you could ask for. They even list different ideas and activities to try to get your family out and ready to explore..."No Child Left Inside"
As I'm sure you guessed this subject is something that I am indeed very passionate about. I am a product of a home that stressed the importance of playing, gardening, exploring, and what ever else you could find to do while outside. I learned so many lessons that I never would have had the opportunity to learn if I had just stayed inside. I believe that the most important lesson for me was to learn to love nature and all that it has to offer....it is a lesson I hope to continue to teach my children...and so I pray
Lord, What an incredible world you have created for us to explore. I thank you Lord for providing such an amazing opportunity for my family to get to explore just a small piece of what you have created. I pray that you would help me not take this opportunity and blessing for-granted. I pray that you will also remind me of the importance of taking care of what you have given to us to enjoy. We love you Lord...Amen
Monday, January 31, 2011
a new venture
With the loving encouragement of my dearest friend I have decided to take a hobby and try to transform it into a business. I have over the last several years spent time collecting, salvaging, rescuing and re-purposing many unwanted items from all sorts of places. A cupboard door from a burn pile, a free barn door from a roadside sale, old windows leftover from a renovation...all taken and infused with new life...new purpose. I love showing people the potential and the value of a piece they once thought to have no value at all. Being creative and using my hands is so important to me. Sanding, painting, and refinishing all serve as a form of therapy for me. Pouring my mind and energy into a piece is a way for me to quite all the other noise in my life.
The decision to take this next step has not been without a lot of prayer and a lot of thought. Time spent with my family is so very important to me and in no way am I looking to have something come in and be all consuming. So the idea is to start small. Take it a little at a time. I feel like in my life I have now reached full capacity and so I go into this realizing that if anything more is added in something will have to be taken out. I do have to say I truly am looking forward to where this may take me. I am ready for anything...even failure.
I feel so very blessed to have the love and support from many family and friends as I take this opportunity to try something new. I do not believe it would have been something I would have headed in to if it had not been for them.
I would so appreciate any additional prayer for myself and for my family from all who feels the desire to do so. This new venture I'm sure may bring a few new challenges for us to deal with. I hope that if there are...we are able to face them...head on...together...and of course are able to work through them all without too many battle wounds along the way;) I pray that God will continue to bless my family and will bless this new little business venture.
The decision to take this next step has not been without a lot of prayer and a lot of thought. Time spent with my family is so very important to me and in no way am I looking to have something come in and be all consuming. So the idea is to start small. Take it a little at a time. I feel like in my life I have now reached full capacity and so I go into this realizing that if anything more is added in something will have to be taken out. I do have to say I truly am looking forward to where this may take me. I am ready for anything...even failure.
I feel so very blessed to have the love and support from many family and friends as I take this opportunity to try something new. I do not believe it would have been something I would have headed in to if it had not been for them.
I would so appreciate any additional prayer for myself and for my family from all who feels the desire to do so. This new venture I'm sure may bring a few new challenges for us to deal with. I hope that if there are...we are able to face them...head on...together...and of course are able to work through them all without too many battle wounds along the way;) I pray that God will continue to bless my family and will bless this new little business venture.
Monday, January 24, 2011
out of the woods
As I'm sure all you can imagine I was a bit dramatic or I guess perhaps a kinder word would be...imaginative as a child. I seemed to always be thinking...or over thinking things that no other child seemed to be worried or concerned about at the time. With this tendency I would often create stories of my own misfortune and tales of woe and would then play out the part...complete with any costume I may have needed...you know for "dramatic effect". My stage was often set outside...in the "woods". I found comfort in my stories and peace amongst the protection of the trees. Getting to tell the end of my own story gave me an incredible feeling of calm. It was the solitude of the forest that I longed for because my stories...and the psychological reason they brought comfort to me...was something I was not yet wanting to share.
A recent walk through the woods brought me back to a specific moment in time. I'm not sure my age...maybe eight or nine...I was walking deep into a cove of trees. I remember looking up into the canopy and being amazed at the beauty of the sunlight coming through the branches. I reached my arms out wide and drank in the moment...determined to remember every branch...every leaf...and to remember how I felt. I wanted to hold onto the memory so I could have it to enjoy later on in life. I couldn't tell you the exact sociological reason for it...but for some reason the ability and intense desire to create and retain memories was something that I carried with me throughout my youth. I guess as many children do...I would often think about my "someday" but perhaps unlike many other children...for me...there was a fear of not getting to have it. I guess there might be the "reason" for my behavior...my fear of dying before my life...(as I thought it should be)...was lived out. I had created a mental check list of stages in my life I was desperate to reach. Death...I realized...at a very young age was something I could not control...no matter how much I wanted to...but of course I still continued to feel an overwhelming urge to try.I have heard stories of people with O.C.D. that have the uncontrollable desire to complete certain rituals through out their day in their own attempt to "save" their family from any harm and even save them from death. Although my anxiety never reached the level of extreme in some of these cases I could see how my "stories" and created memories may have been my own kind of ritual to attempt to gain control of my own life.
Although I have now out grown many of my childhood fears and "rituals" I seemed to have only replaced them with pessimism. If I remain negative about situations maybe only the positive will occur. What's that saying...oh ya...Don't get your hopes up...yep...that's me. Yes I realize there is no real logic to this madness but it is in truth the sick mental game I sometimes find myself playing. It would appear that control worry and irrational fear have followed me into adulthood. It is like a bad habit I cannot seem to break free from."Control Freak", "Worryaholic" these are terms of an addict and that is what I am....and as many of us know...with any addiction, you never seem to completely get rid of those unexpected urges...well at least not with out a lot of prayer and practice;)
As I look at my children and begin to understand and see their own control issues and fears and what may be an imposed installation of my own fears...I start to realize how desperately I need to get a hold of what has continued to interrupt me from just living...living without the fear of something or anything happening to me or to those around me. What will be will be. I cannot control what God has planned and really...why do I feel that I want to? When put to paper I can see how incredibly ridiculous it may appear for me to be clinging onto memories as a way of hanging onto my future. My sad attempt to control my life with my worry and my fears needs to stop...now.
Today while on a walk in the woods with my children I took in the moment. Not out of an irrational fear of it "possibly" being one of my lasts but because of the joy it brought me just to be in that moment..at that time. It is my hope that through my example, my children will be able to see that when the burdens of my life...all the control, the worry, and the fear...are all given to God...what is left...is something beautiful for us all to enjoy...something...worth remembering....and so I pray
Lord..."I don’t know about tomorrow,I just live from day to day.I don’t borrow from it’s sunshine,For it’s skies may turn to gray.I don’t worry o’er the future,For I know what Jesus said,And today I’ll walk beside Him,For He knows what is ahead.Many things about tomorrow,I don’t seem to understand;But I know Who holds tomorrow,And I know Who holds my hand.Ev’ry step is getting brighter As the golden stairs I climb; Ev’ry burden’s getting lighter; Ev’ry cloud is silver lined.There the sun is always shining,There no tear will dim the eyes,At the ending of the rainbow,Where the mountains touch the sky.Many things about tomorrow,
I don’t seem to understand;But I know Who holds tomorrow,And I know Who holds my hand.I don’t know about tomorrow,It may bring me poverty;But the One Who feeds the sparrow,Is the One Who stands by me.
And the path that be my portion,May be through the flame or flood,But His presence goes before me,
And I’m covered with His blood.Many things about tomorrow,I don’t seem to understand;But I know Who holds tomorrow,And I know Who holds my hand."...amen
A recent walk through the woods brought me back to a specific moment in time. I'm not sure my age...maybe eight or nine...I was walking deep into a cove of trees. I remember looking up into the canopy and being amazed at the beauty of the sunlight coming through the branches. I reached my arms out wide and drank in the moment...determined to remember every branch...every leaf...and to remember how I felt. I wanted to hold onto the memory so I could have it to enjoy later on in life. I couldn't tell you the exact sociological reason for it...but for some reason the ability and intense desire to create and retain memories was something that I carried with me throughout my youth. I guess as many children do...I would often think about my "someday" but perhaps unlike many other children...for me...there was a fear of not getting to have it. I guess there might be the "reason" for my behavior...my fear of dying before my life...(as I thought it should be)...was lived out. I had created a mental check list of stages in my life I was desperate to reach. Death...I realized...at a very young age was something I could not control...no matter how much I wanted to...but of course I still continued to feel an overwhelming urge to try.I have heard stories of people with O.C.D. that have the uncontrollable desire to complete certain rituals through out their day in their own attempt to "save" their family from any harm and even save them from death. Although my anxiety never reached the level of extreme in some of these cases I could see how my "stories" and created memories may have been my own kind of ritual to attempt to gain control of my own life.
Although I have now out grown many of my childhood fears and "rituals" I seemed to have only replaced them with pessimism. If I remain negative about situations maybe only the positive will occur. What's that saying...oh ya...Don't get your hopes up...yep...that's me. Yes I realize there is no real logic to this madness but it is in truth the sick mental game I sometimes find myself playing. It would appear that control worry and irrational fear have followed me into adulthood. It is like a bad habit I cannot seem to break free from."Control Freak", "Worryaholic" these are terms of an addict and that is what I am....and as many of us know...with any addiction, you never seem to completely get rid of those unexpected urges...well at least not with out a lot of prayer and practice;)
As I look at my children and begin to understand and see their own control issues and fears and what may be an imposed installation of my own fears...I start to realize how desperately I need to get a hold of what has continued to interrupt me from just living...living without the fear of something or anything happening to me or to those around me. What will be will be. I cannot control what God has planned and really...why do I feel that I want to? When put to paper I can see how incredibly ridiculous it may appear for me to be clinging onto memories as a way of hanging onto my future. My sad attempt to control my life with my worry and my fears needs to stop...now.
Today while on a walk in the woods with my children I took in the moment. Not out of an irrational fear of it "possibly" being one of my lasts but because of the joy it brought me just to be in that moment..at that time. It is my hope that through my example, my children will be able to see that when the burdens of my life...all the control, the worry, and the fear...are all given to God...what is left...is something beautiful for us all to enjoy...something...worth remembering....and so I pray
Lord..."I don’t know about tomorrow,I just live from day to day.I don’t borrow from it’s sunshine,For it’s skies may turn to gray.I don’t worry o’er the future,For I know what Jesus said,And today I’ll walk beside Him,For He knows what is ahead.Many things about tomorrow,I don’t seem to understand;But I know Who holds tomorrow,And I know Who holds my hand.Ev’ry step is getting brighter As the golden stairs I climb; Ev’ry burden’s getting lighter; Ev’ry cloud is silver lined.There the sun is always shining,There no tear will dim the eyes,At the ending of the rainbow,Where the mountains touch the sky.Many things about tomorrow,
I don’t seem to understand;But I know Who holds tomorrow,And I know Who holds my hand.I don’t know about tomorrow,It may bring me poverty;But the One Who feeds the sparrow,Is the One Who stands by me.
And the path that be my portion,May be through the flame or flood,But His presence goes before me,
And I’m covered with His blood.Many things about tomorrow,I don’t seem to understand;But I know Who holds tomorrow,And I know Who holds my hand."...amen
Friday, January 21, 2011
liberation of love
While watching a program that was featuring one of my favorite writers I was amazed at the story she began to tell. What an amazing journey she has been on. As I listened she reached a point in her story that spoke of the love she had had in her life. She had many life experiences that could have caused her to stay down but with the love and incredible encouragement of the powerful people around her, their love lifted her up...It...as she said...liberated her. I began to reflect on some of the powerful moments in my life where love liberated me. What amazes me is the sudden realization that many of these moments were probably not even realized by the individual as a life changing moment in my life. A compliment, a word of encouragement and simple positive reinforcement is all it has taken to continue to liberate me through out my life.
Of course amongst the many to love me this way were that of my devoted parents. Through every fall down, strike out, failed test, and heart ache they were there...picking me up...and giving me the courage to try again. Their liberating love however didn't just stop there. Growing up in a family of four girls you could imagine the difficulty there might be to find your own voice and to become your own person. Constantly people would try to lump me in with all of my older sisters many incredible accomplishments expecting me to be the same. Out of a bit of rebellion and the fear of failure I often would run as far as I could in the opposite direction. My parents patience throughout this period in my life was more than amazing. They saw in me something that I at the time did not yet want to see....potential. It was their belief and high expectations of the person that I could become that liberated me from my disbeliefs and low expectations of just who that person was...and was to be. Because they believed...and they told me so...over and over and over again...so then did I...It was as simple as that.
There is I believe one potential down side to the constant celebration of the "individual". For most families I believe there is a tendency to want to put each child into there own category based on the child's greatest talent or most obvious personality trait. I realize just how important it is for our children to hear what it is that makes them unique and different from their siblings but I believe that the constant reminder of which "one" they are can limit them to just remaining in the box that we may have unintentionally put them in. They need to see that their lives will not just be defined by what others may see on the surface but what they see within themselves. It is important for them to also know that we should always continue to challenge ourselves...to grow....to think outside of the box;) We should not be just simply satisfied with being as good as our greatest gift but should stretch ourselves into something far greater then we ever could have imagined.
Liberating them with your love is way of freeing them from the shackles of their own self doubt and allowing them to see that they can dream to be whatever it is they wish to be. It gives them the permission they need to "dare to be bigger than the condition into which she or he was born." To have the courage to try...and to try again...and again...until they find within themselves a way to "liberate" who it is they are. And when this new found self is realized to see the ways to then liberate someone else with their love...to go and have the strength to be a blessing in someones life...as they are in ours. After all what greater blessing is there then to have been that "someone" for someone else...and so I pray
Lord, I thank you for making love so simple. Lord I am afraid at times I tend to complicate much of what you have created to be simple. I forget so often how easy it is to show love through my words and my actions. I pray that you will remind me throughout my day to take the time to show my children the power of words. To show them that when used with love our words can liberate...can set a person free...can give them courage...can give them strength. Lord it is your word that I long for them to hear above all the rest. Your love is perfect Lord and it is through that love that we are truly free...amen
Of course amongst the many to love me this way were that of my devoted parents. Through every fall down, strike out, failed test, and heart ache they were there...picking me up...and giving me the courage to try again. Their liberating love however didn't just stop there. Growing up in a family of four girls you could imagine the difficulty there might be to find your own voice and to become your own person. Constantly people would try to lump me in with all of my older sisters many incredible accomplishments expecting me to be the same. Out of a bit of rebellion and the fear of failure I often would run as far as I could in the opposite direction. My parents patience throughout this period in my life was more than amazing. They saw in me something that I at the time did not yet want to see....potential. It was their belief and high expectations of the person that I could become that liberated me from my disbeliefs and low expectations of just who that person was...and was to be. Because they believed...and they told me so...over and over and over again...so then did I...It was as simple as that.
There is I believe one potential down side to the constant celebration of the "individual". For most families I believe there is a tendency to want to put each child into there own category based on the child's greatest talent or most obvious personality trait. I realize just how important it is for our children to hear what it is that makes them unique and different from their siblings but I believe that the constant reminder of which "one" they are can limit them to just remaining in the box that we may have unintentionally put them in. They need to see that their lives will not just be defined by what others may see on the surface but what they see within themselves. It is important for them to also know that we should always continue to challenge ourselves...to grow....to think outside of the box;) We should not be just simply satisfied with being as good as our greatest gift but should stretch ourselves into something far greater then we ever could have imagined.
Liberating them with your love is way of freeing them from the shackles of their own self doubt and allowing them to see that they can dream to be whatever it is they wish to be. It gives them the permission they need to "dare to be bigger than the condition into which she or he was born." To have the courage to try...and to try again...and again...until they find within themselves a way to "liberate" who it is they are. And when this new found self is realized to see the ways to then liberate someone else with their love...to go and have the strength to be a blessing in someones life...as they are in ours. After all what greater blessing is there then to have been that "someone" for someone else...and so I pray
Lord, I thank you for making love so simple. Lord I am afraid at times I tend to complicate much of what you have created to be simple. I forget so often how easy it is to show love through my words and my actions. I pray that you will remind me throughout my day to take the time to show my children the power of words. To show them that when used with love our words can liberate...can set a person free...can give them courage...can give them strength. Lord it is your word that I long for them to hear above all the rest. Your love is perfect Lord and it is through that love that we are truly free...amen
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
the ant hill
As a young child my family spent a lot of time in Eastern Oregon. I loved getting to explore all the new things that the desert had to offer. One of my greatest fascinations were all the giant ant hills that I would find while on my hikes. I had been warned by my Grandpa...who was a great observer of nature himself...not to disturb what the ants had worked so hard to build. Temptation however got the best of me. Looking around to see that the coast was clear I kicked over a corner of the hill. I looked on as the ants scurried around frantically. Soon I became bored...as most children do...and turned to walk away. As I turned around I saw my Grandpa standing behind me. You see not only was my Grandpa a great observer of nature but was also a great observer of people...unfortunately for me at the time. I waited to hear what he had to say. To my surprise he calmly redirected my attention to the ant hill. "You see how long it takes that tiny ant to carry that tiny stone back to the hill? Imagine the time it will take them to rebuild what took you just seconds to knock down...and for what? Just a few moments of entertainment." Ashamed of what I had done I looked on wishing there was some way to repair it. I asked my Grandpa if there was anything I could do. "No...You see only the ants know how it should be built. Each stone has it's place. Hidden under what appears to us as only just a pile of rubble are many intricate tunnels that can only be designed and made by those tiny little ants." It appeared that time...in this case...would indeed have to heal all wounds.
What always seemed to amaze me about my Grandpa is how often he would seize a moment and use it as an incredible illustration. He could have easily just scolded me and walked away but instead he stayed and took the time to teach me a lesson that has continued to stay with me all these years. He was an amazing teacher and I feel so privileged to have been able to learn so many incredible life lessons by his words and by his example.
Most recently my thoughts came back to this lesson as I began to really listen to my own words and the way in which I choose to say them to my family. I began to see how with each harsh word or impatient criticism my carelessness was slowly knocking down what I should have been helping to build up. God has placed these intricately designed little creations in my path just as he did that ant hill... for a reason...a greater purpose...to teach a lesson that will last more than just the moment it would take to knock it all down. Unfortunately being unaware and unintentional at times with my words has proven to be a much harder habit for me to break then I had hoped. This is where time...and some much needed prayer...will again have to be the healer of all wounds and of course of all of those bad habits. But I will press on...practicing patience and adjusting my attitude...Trying to use all the "little" disciplinary moments that I can throughout my day, as a opportunity to teach a much "bigger" lesson...for my children and yes even some much needed lessons for myself.
I cannot of course end this without the acknowledgment of the other member of my family that is in fact very affected by my attitude. I heard recently that a criticism is really just a bad way of making a request. I started to reflect upon all the many "requests" that I had made of my husband. Remembering all the eye rolls and muttered complaints. I mean how many times do I really have to pick the towel up off the floor...right in front of him...in the most overly dramatic way possible...before he will just realize...Yep...I could start to see how true this statement really was. To make a simple request should be just that...simple. No need for dramatic effects or added guilt...just keep it simple. It seems that lately I have been spending more time requesting things of my husband and forgetting about some of his emotional needs. I will say that discovering what those needs are can often be difficult since my husband unlike myself will often "suffer in silence". Sadly I believe...at times...that it is his unreactionary response to my occasional tantrums that fuels the flames of my fury;) I continue to kick down an already crumbling argument until I receive the satisfaction of a reaction...a response. I could continue to go on and on about the reasons in which I do this but perhaps I should save it for another day. I will say that like the ant hill often this moment of satisfaction is followed by a lot of guilt and regret. To often I forget how important it is for my husband to also hear words of encouragement and praise. His confidence and his strength often cause me to think that he does not need me to say what I believe he already knows. The fact of the matter is that no matter how well he weathers the storm on his own...or how quickly he rebuilds after I have knocked him down...he still desires my love and my admiration...and this is something that I plan to continue to build upon for years to come...stone by stone.
You see...so many lessons...out of one little ant hill....and so I pray...
Lord, I thank you for the incredible people you have put in my life. I have learned so much from each and everyone. Lord please help me to remember to seize the day...to take advantage of all the opportunities that you put in my path and to learn from them. Lord I know that you have designed each and everyone of us in a special and unique way and only you know how to truly put us back together again. I pray that you will continue to work in my life as you always have. Lord I pray that I would learn to control my tongue and my temper. I pray Lord that you might also remind me of another lesson in life a learned very early on...Oh be careful little tongue what you say...oh be careful little tongue what you say...for the Father up above is looking down with love...oh be careful little tongue what you say...amen
What always seemed to amaze me about my Grandpa is how often he would seize a moment and use it as an incredible illustration. He could have easily just scolded me and walked away but instead he stayed and took the time to teach me a lesson that has continued to stay with me all these years. He was an amazing teacher and I feel so privileged to have been able to learn so many incredible life lessons by his words and by his example.
Most recently my thoughts came back to this lesson as I began to really listen to my own words and the way in which I choose to say them to my family. I began to see how with each harsh word or impatient criticism my carelessness was slowly knocking down what I should have been helping to build up. God has placed these intricately designed little creations in my path just as he did that ant hill... for a reason...a greater purpose...to teach a lesson that will last more than just the moment it would take to knock it all down. Unfortunately being unaware and unintentional at times with my words has proven to be a much harder habit for me to break then I had hoped. This is where time...and some much needed prayer...will again have to be the healer of all wounds and of course of all of those bad habits. But I will press on...practicing patience and adjusting my attitude...Trying to use all the "little" disciplinary moments that I can throughout my day, as a opportunity to teach a much "bigger" lesson...for my children and yes even some much needed lessons for myself.
I cannot of course end this without the acknowledgment of the other member of my family that is in fact very affected by my attitude. I heard recently that a criticism is really just a bad way of making a request. I started to reflect upon all the many "requests" that I had made of my husband. Remembering all the eye rolls and muttered complaints. I mean how many times do I really have to pick the towel up off the floor...right in front of him...in the most overly dramatic way possible...before he will just realize...Yep...I could start to see how true this statement really was. To make a simple request should be just that...simple. No need for dramatic effects or added guilt...just keep it simple. It seems that lately I have been spending more time requesting things of my husband and forgetting about some of his emotional needs. I will say that discovering what those needs are can often be difficult since my husband unlike myself will often "suffer in silence". Sadly I believe...at times...that it is his unreactionary response to my occasional tantrums that fuels the flames of my fury;) I continue to kick down an already crumbling argument until I receive the satisfaction of a reaction...a response. I could continue to go on and on about the reasons in which I do this but perhaps I should save it for another day. I will say that like the ant hill often this moment of satisfaction is followed by a lot of guilt and regret. To often I forget how important it is for my husband to also hear words of encouragement and praise. His confidence and his strength often cause me to think that he does not need me to say what I believe he already knows. The fact of the matter is that no matter how well he weathers the storm on his own...or how quickly he rebuilds after I have knocked him down...he still desires my love and my admiration...and this is something that I plan to continue to build upon for years to come...stone by stone.
You see...so many lessons...out of one little ant hill....and so I pray...
Lord, I thank you for the incredible people you have put in my life. I have learned so much from each and everyone. Lord please help me to remember to seize the day...to take advantage of all the opportunities that you put in my path and to learn from them. Lord I know that you have designed each and everyone of us in a special and unique way and only you know how to truly put us back together again. I pray that you will continue to work in my life as you always have. Lord I pray that I would learn to control my tongue and my temper. I pray Lord that you might also remind me of another lesson in life a learned very early on...Oh be careful little tongue what you say...oh be careful little tongue what you say...for the Father up above is looking down with love...oh be careful little tongue what you say...amen
Monday, January 10, 2011
people pleasing parenting
Looking back it would seem that I hail from a long line of what you could call "people pleasers". As a young child my Grandfather was a minister and as we all know whether we should or not, heavier judgment and higher expectations seem to be given to the "preaches kids"...and eventually their own families. This fact, I was painfully made aware of every time I may have wandered off the straight and narrow...something I am afraid happened more then it should have. This rebellion however only proved my desire to please...but in this case...to please a different kind of crowd...on a much "wider" journey. I cannot of course blame all my "people pleasing" tendencies on my childhood. I realize I have long since reached the age of accountability. It has been something that I have fought against within myself for as long as I can remember. I do not enjoy being a "yes" person for the fear of saying no. I seem to lack, at times, the capability to set my own personal boundaries. I constantly find myself asking the age old question "What will they think if I do this or say that?" Yes, in writing this down I can see how ridicules this thought pattern truly is but it has also made me realize something else...Really...at times...people pleasing isn't about being selfless but really about serving myself through seeking others constant approval and in honesty even the recognition of the sacrifices that I have made for them. Again going back to finding comfort in being the "victim". In an effort to not be too hard on myself I will say that when not taken too far my love for people and being sensitive to their needs is not always a bad thing. In fact, helping others has brought me at times a tremendous amount of joy...as it should. God made me this way for a reason and I have to remind myself that God has an amazing way of taking our weaknesses and using them to strengthen our lives and the lives of the people around us. For me it is about getting to a place where my desire to please is done out of a selfless love and not out of a selfish fear.
As a Mother I have started to see how these tendencies have caused more unwanted and unneeded stress than I could have imagined. Not only do I now find myself worrying about how people are viewing me directly but also have found myself worrying about the way people are viewing my children...and in turn how the are viewing my parenting. This has caused me to have a tremendous loss of confidence and has I'm sure caused some major confusion for my children. Watching myself put those unrealistic expectations on my children as where once put on me has pushed me to want to make a change in my life. This has proven like most life changes to be easier said then done...however I do not want my children to think that my love is based on the condition of their behavior and of their lives...Instead I want them to see that my love is indeed unconditional and that the pride I feel is because of who they are and have become on their own.
In watching and observing other mothers I have found a tremendous admiration for those who do not make excuses for the behavior of their children. You will not find a look of mortification when their child has thrown themselves into a toddler sized tantrum in the middle of the store...No...What you will find instead is a parent simply dealing with the behavior...and not showing any concern for the many faces that seem to be watching them. Their seemingly unshaken confidence captures me and inspires me to do the same. I do know that every parent... no matter how confident they may seem...still finds themselves in moments of self doubt. I guess it goes back again to one of those good old sayings "Nobody is perfect"...not even the parents that seem to have it all together;) I do however want to continue to strive towards being less concerned on how the behavior of my children is directly reflected on me and more concerned about my children learning the lessons at hand...and of course learning to take my pride out of my parenting. To also remind myself that it's not about seeing my own reflection in the lives of my children but showing them how to reflect upon their own lives. To raise them with the understanding that although there is tremendous value in being sensitive to others opinions it is first important to hold a tremendous amount of value in yourself and in your own ideas and capabilities.
There is no such thing as one sized fits all parenting....To each there is truly their own. I cannot pretend to parent as someone else but have to instead find my own authentic way...a way that will stay true to who I am...just the kind of mother God intended for my children to have. I pray that with the help of my amazingly confident and loving husband I will be able to find what it is that works for me...and of course for my family....and so I pray...
Lord...I thank you for creating me just the way I am. Lord I know that you have a plan for my life and a path for me to follow. I pray that you will open my eyes to what it is that I need to see and the steps I need to take to get there. I pray Lord for my children. I pray that they will come to realize how special and valuable their lives truly are. Lord I thank you for having the confidence in me to parent these beautiful children. Lord, when the time comes, I pray that you will give me the strength I will need to step back and let you continue to work in them...and through them. I cannot wait to see how they will grow Lord and I pray that I can provide them with a solid ground in which to do so....amen
As a Mother I have started to see how these tendencies have caused more unwanted and unneeded stress than I could have imagined. Not only do I now find myself worrying about how people are viewing me directly but also have found myself worrying about the way people are viewing my children...and in turn how the are viewing my parenting. This has caused me to have a tremendous loss of confidence and has I'm sure caused some major confusion for my children. Watching myself put those unrealistic expectations on my children as where once put on me has pushed me to want to make a change in my life. This has proven like most life changes to be easier said then done...however I do not want my children to think that my love is based on the condition of their behavior and of their lives...Instead I want them to see that my love is indeed unconditional and that the pride I feel is because of who they are and have become on their own.
In watching and observing other mothers I have found a tremendous admiration for those who do not make excuses for the behavior of their children. You will not find a look of mortification when their child has thrown themselves into a toddler sized tantrum in the middle of the store...No...What you will find instead is a parent simply dealing with the behavior...and not showing any concern for the many faces that seem to be watching them. Their seemingly unshaken confidence captures me and inspires me to do the same. I do know that every parent... no matter how confident they may seem...still finds themselves in moments of self doubt. I guess it goes back again to one of those good old sayings "Nobody is perfect"...not even the parents that seem to have it all together;) I do however want to continue to strive towards being less concerned on how the behavior of my children is directly reflected on me and more concerned about my children learning the lessons at hand...and of course learning to take my pride out of my parenting. To also remind myself that it's not about seeing my own reflection in the lives of my children but showing them how to reflect upon their own lives. To raise them with the understanding that although there is tremendous value in being sensitive to others opinions it is first important to hold a tremendous amount of value in yourself and in your own ideas and capabilities.
There is no such thing as one sized fits all parenting....To each there is truly their own. I cannot pretend to parent as someone else but have to instead find my own authentic way...a way that will stay true to who I am...just the kind of mother God intended for my children to have. I pray that with the help of my amazingly confident and loving husband I will be able to find what it is that works for me...and of course for my family....and so I pray...
Lord...I thank you for creating me just the way I am. Lord I know that you have a plan for my life and a path for me to follow. I pray that you will open my eyes to what it is that I need to see and the steps I need to take to get there. I pray Lord for my children. I pray that they will come to realize how special and valuable their lives truly are. Lord I thank you for having the confidence in me to parent these beautiful children. Lord, when the time comes, I pray that you will give me the strength I will need to step back and let you continue to work in them...and through them. I cannot wait to see how they will grow Lord and I pray that I can provide them with a solid ground in which to do so....amen
Saturday, January 8, 2011
just a few of my favorite things
...making time for "family time", finding ways to make my family laugh, dancing with my children...and dancing with my husband, teaching my children and seeing what they learn from it, just being home, my husbands hugs...especially after a "long" day, hearing my children call me Mama, waking up to my daughter singing in the monitor, watching my children grow closer to each other each day, hearing my children say they love me...and of course hearing it from my husband too, seeing the joy my son gets out of "caring" for and "protecting" me, nature walks with my family, playing board games with my husband...and beating him...when he "lets" me;) hearing my son tell me that I am beautiful, my very cuddly little girl, playing in the dark with my children and our trusty flashlights, seeing the comfort my son gets in knowing that God is watching over him,Young family movie night...and of course the big bowl of popcorn that comes with it, hearing my husband sing with our children, scaring away "monsters" in the middle of the night...and knowing that they trust me to protect them, my daughters sweet...but sometimes sassy spirit, my sons never ending curiosity, our "family bed", discovering new reasons why I love my husband so much, my children showing random acts of kindness to each other, surprising my husband...something that seems to get harder and harder to do, listening to my husband laugh, listening to my sons jokes...and laughing so hard my cheeks hurt, unexpected just because I love you gifts from my husband, hearing my daughter sing a song even if she can't say the words...yet, telling stories to my son but letting him tell the end, playing dress up with my amazingly imaginative little children, baking cookies with my little cookie monsters, watching my daughter run around with her slippers and her favorite blanket, folding little clothes, finding toys in some of the strangest places, bath time sing along, seeing how excited my children get when I come home...even if I have only been gone for an hour or two, hearing my son tell me that he wants to marry me...and his Daddy too...so he wont be lonely, date night with my husband...even if it's just at home, goodnight kisses, writing and documenting about my family and the life that we share together, learning...everyday learning something new about myself and about my family, just listening to what my children have to say...it's amazing what you can hear when you just...listen, taking time to count my many blessings and to see what God has done for my little family, and the list for me goes on and on...
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
simply taken
Simply given
Every breath and every moment
Simply given
Just given
Until I fell down to my knees
Just given
Simply broken
Feeling shaken and defeated
Simply broken
And so I took a breath
I took it in and let it out
I took a breath
I took a moment
Without permission without guilt
I took a moment
I took my time
It wasn't yours it was just mine
I took my time
Simply taken
Without a need of something given
Simply taken
Every breath and every moment
Simply given
Just given
Until I fell down to my knees
Just given
Simply broken
Feeling shaken and defeated
Simply broken
And so I took a breath
I took it in and let it out
I took a breath
I took a moment
Without permission without guilt
I took a moment
I took my time
It wasn't yours it was just mine
I took my time
Simply taken
Without a need of something given
Simply taken
Saturday, January 1, 2011
resolution...organization
With the start of the New Year I cannot help but turn my thoughts to the goals in which I would like set through this coming year. I know perhaps one of the most popular resolutions set each year is the hopes of more organization in our lives. I like the masses, too would like to see my life more organized. Especially in my home, and with my daily schedule.
So I began to think..if my life..in these particular areas...were more organized what would that mean for me and for my family?
First I took a look at my home. Well...an organized home would mean less time spent looking for things I can never seem to find when I desperately need it. I cannot tell you the daily stress I put myself through just because I can't locate the lost. This stress is only intensified when someone else is wanting me to find something that I may or may not have put in a place that it did not belong. It's funny how at the time the new placement of an object seems so logical...I mean of course I'll remember I put that there;) Yes the saying seems to be true...it's all about...location, location, location. I do, however also find it funny that it always seems to be "me" who is "misplacing" everything...Suspicious?...A little.
Recently I have felt God working in my heart to open up my home. I have begun to see how valuable simple hospitality really is. Honestly much of the reason I have not wanted to do so is the stress I feel when getting the home ready for guests. My anxiety is often induced by my husbands lack of communication when he has invited unexpected guests to come into our home. Often I am just given a twenty minute warning...and sometimes even just a knock on the door. Although I love that my husband enjoys filling his home with friends and family I do feel like " more communication" may need to be his New Years Resolution;) But in fact if the home was more organized perhaps the "crazy clean up" would not have to be so...crazy. Of course I do realize that with two young children...my home will not ever be completely void of all clutter but my goal is to get it to a manageable amount. I also realize that perhaps I worry to much about what someone might be thinking when they see my sink full of dishes or my basket of laundry. This is where I see the true value in my husbands "open door" policy...Come as you are is as true to him as...Come in...as we are. He is more concerned about the fellowship we may be having then the "mess" we may be surrounded by. I never want someone to enter my home and feel unwelcome because of my last second scramble to hide away the mess. As my Mother-in-Law has always told me..."It just looks lived in...and that's how it should be".
My lack of organization could also be due to the plan and simple fact that I am a chronic procrastinator. This as you can imagine, has caused significant damage to any attempt of a daily home schedule. Time seems to only be wasted while procrastinating. I never really find myself saying okay I really don't want to fold the clothes right now so I will go ahead and tackle those dirty dishes...No instead I find myself mindlessly watching cartoons with my children or searching the internet. It is sad for me to think about all the time I have wasted trying to avoid what will eventually need to be done. I cannot escape...no matter how much I would like to at times...the dreaded to do list. So I have decided in order to keep my schedule in order I must have some sort of accountability. Although somewhat reluctant to do so I have decied to write down and post my schedule for all in the home to see. In doing so I will gain the accountability but also may gain the knowledge of the areas I could use the most help in and will be able to communicate those needs and perhaps schedule in a little help too. I would like to also show my children...through all of this...how valuable time is and that by not picking up after themselves it causes me to loose valuable time with them. I have always thought...(well since I left the care of my own Mother;)...that by leaving something for someone else to do...for you...is like saying that their time is not as vaulable as yours. Of course Mom will do it...that's what her time is for...right?...Wrong....or at least it should be. I guess that certain amounts of gratitude seem to only be obtained through life experience...like in becoming a Mother yourself.
They say that the state of your home is a direct reflection of the state of mind you find yourself in. If your home is cluttered and chaotic then often that is how you will find your life. Being a person that often has a hard time saying no I find this statement to be so very true. I tend to jam pack my life with this and that cluttering my mind with list after list of things that I have said yes to. In doing this I leave little time to enjoy or complete any of them. This year I have begun to see how necessary it is for me to clear out the clutter...both in my home and in my life. Simplify, simplify, simplify. But what do I get rid of? In praying I have started to see more clearly what those things really are and have also been able to see all the good a wonderful things that will fill those places instead...more time with family and friends, more freedom, I mind at ease...the list goes on and on. I am truly looking forward to seeing how a little more organization effects all the areas of my life and the lives of my family...and so I pray...
Lord, You know my weaknesses...and organization Lord is...as you know...one of my many weaknesses. Lord I pray that you will give me strength as I attempt to make this change in my life. I pray that you will keep my mind focused. I also pray Lord that I would not be discouraged by any falls that I may have. Lord I pray that you will pick me right up Lord and set me back on track. I thank you Lord for showing me my weaknesses so I could also see the changes I need to make...the challenges I need to overcome. Lord I pray for my home. I pray that you would bring to it a certain peace and calm that we so desperately need. I thank you Lord for all you have given me...For the love that fills my home...the warmth...the shelter...Lord I feel so blessed....amen
So I began to think..if my life..in these particular areas...were more organized what would that mean for me and for my family?
First I took a look at my home. Well...an organized home would mean less time spent looking for things I can never seem to find when I desperately need it. I cannot tell you the daily stress I put myself through just because I can't locate the lost. This stress is only intensified when someone else is wanting me to find something that I may or may not have put in a place that it did not belong. It's funny how at the time the new placement of an object seems so logical...I mean of course I'll remember I put that there;) Yes the saying seems to be true...it's all about...location, location, location. I do, however also find it funny that it always seems to be "me" who is "misplacing" everything...Suspicious?...A little.
Recently I have felt God working in my heart to open up my home. I have begun to see how valuable simple hospitality really is. Honestly much of the reason I have not wanted to do so is the stress I feel when getting the home ready for guests. My anxiety is often induced by my husbands lack of communication when he has invited unexpected guests to come into our home. Often I am just given a twenty minute warning...and sometimes even just a knock on the door. Although I love that my husband enjoys filling his home with friends and family I do feel like " more communication" may need to be his New Years Resolution;) But in fact if the home was more organized perhaps the "crazy clean up" would not have to be so...crazy. Of course I do realize that with two young children...my home will not ever be completely void of all clutter but my goal is to get it to a manageable amount. I also realize that perhaps I worry to much about what someone might be thinking when they see my sink full of dishes or my basket of laundry. This is where I see the true value in my husbands "open door" policy...Come as you are is as true to him as...Come in...as we are. He is more concerned about the fellowship we may be having then the "mess" we may be surrounded by. I never want someone to enter my home and feel unwelcome because of my last second scramble to hide away the mess. As my Mother-in-Law has always told me..."It just looks lived in...and that's how it should be".
My lack of organization could also be due to the plan and simple fact that I am a chronic procrastinator. This as you can imagine, has caused significant damage to any attempt of a daily home schedule. Time seems to only be wasted while procrastinating. I never really find myself saying okay I really don't want to fold the clothes right now so I will go ahead and tackle those dirty dishes...No instead I find myself mindlessly watching cartoons with my children or searching the internet. It is sad for me to think about all the time I have wasted trying to avoid what will eventually need to be done. I cannot escape...no matter how much I would like to at times...the dreaded to do list. So I have decided in order to keep my schedule in order I must have some sort of accountability. Although somewhat reluctant to do so I have decied to write down and post my schedule for all in the home to see. In doing so I will gain the accountability but also may gain the knowledge of the areas I could use the most help in and will be able to communicate those needs and perhaps schedule in a little help too. I would like to also show my children...through all of this...how valuable time is and that by not picking up after themselves it causes me to loose valuable time with them. I have always thought...(well since I left the care of my own Mother;)...that by leaving something for someone else to do...for you...is like saying that their time is not as vaulable as yours. Of course Mom will do it...that's what her time is for...right?...Wrong....or at least it should be. I guess that certain amounts of gratitude seem to only be obtained through life experience...like in becoming a Mother yourself.
They say that the state of your home is a direct reflection of the state of mind you find yourself in. If your home is cluttered and chaotic then often that is how you will find your life. Being a person that often has a hard time saying no I find this statement to be so very true. I tend to jam pack my life with this and that cluttering my mind with list after list of things that I have said yes to. In doing this I leave little time to enjoy or complete any of them. This year I have begun to see how necessary it is for me to clear out the clutter...both in my home and in my life. Simplify, simplify, simplify. But what do I get rid of? In praying I have started to see more clearly what those things really are and have also been able to see all the good a wonderful things that will fill those places instead...more time with family and friends, more freedom, I mind at ease...the list goes on and on. I am truly looking forward to seeing how a little more organization effects all the areas of my life and the lives of my family...and so I pray...
Lord, You know my weaknesses...and organization Lord is...as you know...one of my many weaknesses. Lord I pray that you will give me strength as I attempt to make this change in my life. I pray that you will keep my mind focused. I also pray Lord that I would not be discouraged by any falls that I may have. Lord I pray that you will pick me right up Lord and set me back on track. I thank you Lord for showing me my weaknesses so I could also see the changes I need to make...the challenges I need to overcome. Lord I pray for my home. I pray that you would bring to it a certain peace and calm that we so desperately need. I thank you Lord for all you have given me...For the love that fills my home...the warmth...the shelter...Lord I feel so blessed....amen
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