Today has been a day of many battles. A battle to listen, to obey and for me a battle of patience. As I embraced my son after scolding him for what at this moment I couldn't even tell you I found myself not wanting to let go. All in one moment the anxiety of how quickly life was passing by hit me right in the pit of my stomach. These moments for me seem to come most often when I feel that I have had a selfish and self serving day. Oh how I had wished that I spent more time today meeting his needs. His need for guidance, his need for affection, his need for reassurance...needs that I know I felt short of today. Because of the daily needs that life also brings...clean home, clothes mended, bills paid...the needs of my children often get put on the bottom of my list. The realization of the time I had wasted caused me to tear up. As I tried to hold back those tears my sensitive little boy noticed that I was upset. I told him that I was feeling bad about the time that I had spent with him today (or lack there of) and that I was also sad about how quickly that time can be lost. He let me know that he could not stop growing because that, he said, was how God made him. He made him to grow and grow. I wish that a daily reminder for me to slow down and enjoy life moments wasn't needed but such is my life at this point in time.
Lord help me to be daily present in my children's lives...both in body and in mind. Lord as my children grow and grow I pray that I too will continue to grow and grow along beside them. Thank you Lord for you patience, your guidance your reassurance and your daily presence in my life. Amen
Enjoying your posts! The one thing I constantly have to remind myself, after looking back on a day with my four kids and wondering if I could have done better is YES, I could always do better, and thank goodness God gives us the very next day to try again!
ReplyDeleteYes. I agree. We can always do better and do more. On those nights that I have had..well...one of those days I find myself praying extra hard for another day to try again. Thank God for answered prayers. I have always appreciated your openness and honesty about motherhood. You actually said something I'm sure you weren't thinking would bring so much comfort and reassurance but you did. You told me (in regards to parenting) "that no one really knows what they are doing. We are all just wingin it." The honesty and humor in the statement made me realize that perhaps I take the roll of motherhood to seriously sometimes..well a lot of times. I tend to put an unnecessary amount of pressure on myself to be like "those other Moms". You know the ones with all the answers... Yes I realize "they" do not exist...so why do I continue to try to be like "them"...who knows...I'm working on it. Thank you for your love and support. It means so much to me.
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