When we look at our children it is clear to see the physical inheritance that we have passed on to them. Our eyes our nose our smile. What might not be as easy to see at times is the emotional and behavioral inheritance that is given to our children...with or without the intent to have given it in the first place. It would seem that what may be apparent to most is harder for us to see because in truth it might not be something we want to look at. Of course this does not mean that all our "quirks" and "traits" that we may have unintentionally passed on are unappealing but it seems to be the worst of these that we most often stare blindly at. It is without a doubt difficult to view the reflection of our weaknesses in the eyes and lives of our children. Unfortunately for most, not only is the appearance of this inherited behavior displeasing but the amount of guilt that is often felt when realized is overwhelming. It can even leave you feeling helpless knowing that you must now try and correct in them what you have been unable to do in your own life.
Recently my eyes have been opened to the reflection of one of my own weaknesses in my children's lives. I have come to realize that my lack of censoring has caused a certain exposure to a specific way of thinking. With every day "adult" conversation I am unintentionally "telling" and "showing" my children how they should respond to offense, to anger, to stress, to frustration. They hear everything...my language, my tone of voice...and so when I hear my son speaking emotionally and even aggressively I think to myself...Shame on me...Shame on me for not paying more attention to the example I was setting...but now...to avoid passing on yet another unsightly trait (self persecution) I need to now shake off the shame and begin teaching my children how to overcome our weaknesses...together.
As I have mentioned in posts before I also have my fair share of fears. I have also come to realize that fear also seems to be one of those things we find ourselves gifting without the intention to do so. It is something that is hard to hide from them. The intense need to protect our children often leaves our everyday fears about life exposed. I believe we often allow our children to have what may seem like to others as irrational fears because to us...they seem...well...rational. For some...they are okay with their children being afraid of heights because in reality they would prefer them to be on the ground...where in their minds...it is safe...they are safe. There is a certain amount of control that is felt when we know that our children are to afraid to try what we are petrified of seeing them do. We often use it as a means of setting boundaries but what really we have created is an emotional barrier for them to one day try to get through.
Becoming more aware of the inheritance that I was leaving my children has caused me to look at my behavior in a whole new way. The impact of my "choices" is to great to ignore. I want them to see what was given to them as a gift not a burden. But even with making certain changes in my life I do know that history shows that every child...no matter how great and wonderful their inheritance may have been...can always find something to blame on their parents...and we all know history always repeats itself;) ....And so I pray
Lord, I thank you for all the times you have opened my eyes to my weaknesses. I thank you for your forgiveness. I pray Lord that you will continue to keep my eyes open so I can continue to see the impact that they will make on my children. I love you Lord....Amen
:) Love this!
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